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Contesting a Divorce - Does this make sense????

  • Jane2002
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17 Dec 07 #9160 by Jane2002
Topic started by Jane2002
My x2b did not send the acknowledgement forms in the alloted time so I have filled out a D89 for a bailiff to serve the papers. He now advises me that he is contesting the divorce with adultery and assault allegations! I don't understand how he thinks he can contest with these allegations as I would have thought they would be reasons for the divorce to go through?!

Yes, I now have a new partner, 4 months after he left the marital home and what he fails to remember, probably through drink, is that he had both of his hands around my throat and forced me to the floor whilst I had my dinner in my hands. I did lash out so I could get up and yes, he did end up with bruising to his eye. I also ended up with red marks around my throat!

Can he contest a divorce in this way and what happens after the bailiff has served the petition?

Thanks

Jane

  • gone1
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17 Dec 07 #9161 by gone1
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Yes he can contest the divorce. Usualy when you contest and you fail (and you usualy do) then he will have to pay your costs. Its a daft thing to do and any solicitor will tell him that. Best thing is for him is to sign the petition and return it pronto. That way everyone can get on with it.

What was you cooking that he didnt like so much? I hate sprouts but I wouldnt strangle someone for cooking them for me. I just wouldnt eat them. Chris

  • ToxieDogg
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17 Dec 07 #9162 by ToxieDogg
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I'm still on 2 minds whether or not to contest mine, my STBX petitioned me for unreasonable behaviour, which specifically pointed the finger at me playing games and watching DVDs too much. It was only after I signed the agreement and sent it back (I was pretty distraught at the time and prepared to do/say anything to make her happy) that I saw her emails and found out she'd actually started seeing another guy and was pretty much declaring undying love for him for some time before she even told me she was really unhappy and wanted to split.

My dilemma is, that to me spells adultery whatever way you look at it, but I don't know whether it's worth the time, money or effort contesting things. One thing I do know is that she seems pretty desparate for me not to name her new boyfriend for some reason, to the point where she pratically begged me to remove his name from an angry rant I posted on my Facebook profile, though she didn't seem to mind me just saying that she was having an affair. I've since removed the post altogether, but it all seems bloody suspicious to me, I didn't think it would make any difference to their lives whether I named him or not?

Anyway, sorry about that, back to your situation Jane2002...I would call his bluff to be honest if I were you, doesn't sound like he's got much of a leg to stand on and he's just clutching at straws to try and put the pressure on you. Judging from what you've said, I would have thought that your grounds for divorcing him were more than reasonable enough, and it's pretty unlikely that he'll be able to make it look like it was your fault.

  • LittleMrMike
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17 Dec 07 #9163 by LittleMrMike
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I can only enforse what Chris has said. Contested divorces benefit lawyers more than the parties. I believe it is possible ( and recommended by Resolution ) to use a form of words like " The Respondent has committed adultery with a person whom the petitioner does notwish to name " or " the Respondent denies the truth of these allegations but accepts that the marriage is over and reserves the right to bring forward new evidence if these allegations are repeated in the course of proceedings "

Mike 100468

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17 Dec 07 #9169 by Jacko
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I'm contesing my divorce and every one is telling me it's a waste of time on the 2nd of January they may well be proved right. Her grounds are UB My issue is that she hasn't filed her Supplemental Petition in time. You have a 6 month period in which you should act. If that doesnt work I have some evidence to counter her claims. If that doesnt work then I guess I'm paying her costs!!

I assume your DP is on UB from my understanding he is going to have to dissprove your claims of UB and get your D dimissed. You got ther first with your DP so he has to sucessfully defend your divorce before he can then cross petition on grounds of adultery don't sound likely to me.

I agree with ChrisM he sould sign and return the petition.

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17 Dec 07 #9170 by Jacko
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I'm contesing my divorce and every one is telling me it's a waste of time on the 2nd of January they may well be proved right. Her grounds are UB My issue is that she hasn't filed her Supplemental Petition in time. You have a 6 month period in which you should act. If that doesnt work I have some evidence to counter her claims. If that doesnt work then I guess I'm paying her costs!!

I assume your DP is on UB from my understanding he is going to have to dissprove your claims of UB and get your D dimissed. You got ther first with your DP so he has to sucessfully defend your divorce before he can then cross petition on grounds of adultery don't sound likely to me.

I agree with ChrisM he sould sign and return the petition.

  • WornOut
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18 Dec 07 #9179 by WornOut
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I'm with Mike and Chris.

If the marriage is over, then there really is no point in contesting the Petition.

It is really unfair to be blamed for something you haven't done, but that is the nature of divorce; the further you get into the process, the more unfairness and injustice you will likely encounter.

Few people will see what is written on the Petition and you are probably the only person who cares anyway. Spare yourself the additional costs and the heartache!!

My divorce should have been straight forward but my ex, being malicious and vindictive, has obstructed the process every step of the way and after almost 2 years I am having to apply for Ancillary Relief. I have spent a fortune on legal fees so far, just to get the Absolute and I now have estimated AR fees of six and a half grand.

You have no idea how your divorce will progress and what monies you will need for future 'battles'. Save your money incase you need it later!

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