But as Marshy says, you don't really know anyone, you only really know yourself.
I think I need to qualify this. Indeed I think that you **can** only know yourself. But often we **dont** know ourselves. I didnt know myself at the start of all this. I wasnt what I am now. I was very different back then. A family man. One of those men that work for the familiy and the good of the family. Now I work for the good of just me.
But I think that we have to work on knowing ourslves and I also think that its a life's work. And part of knowing what we are is knowing whats wrong with ourslves and perhaps try and fix the broken things.
I am a lot harder than I was. I dont suffer fools now. I act for me now. Everything I do is **me** centric. But that works for me becuase I am on my own.
The things I havent realy fixed are that I still dont listen properly. I am ok when I concentrate. But if I am trying to work something out at work I go off into my own little world and I dont listen to others. But I accept this. This is a work in progress and its about having a work /life ballance and I havent sorted that yet
I think part of the problem is my work is so important to me now. Its the enabler for everything I do. My social life. My life here. If I didnt have a good job I would be stuffed. I have a lot of debts from my divorce and I will be paying off one debt for the next 23 years!! But I also like the nice life that I have. I have nice things now and I actualy have money in my pocket that I can actualy buy things with. But I know that I must resolve the work / life ballance.
Marshy, I agree it's unrealistic and dangerous to depend on anyone for one's happiness and security, but I also feel that if you are in a committed relationship then honesty and integrity are key. Otherwise what's the point? True, nothing lasts forever. Things change but it doesn't mean they have to end, just that they need to change. If both people can accommodate that change, then great. If not, then they part.
I think I need to quailify what I said about this as well. What I mean is that all relationships end becuase we die. So if we dont split up, dont divorce it ends becuase we do. Some relationships actualy last that long!!