A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Mon/Fri 9am-6pm       Sat/Sun 2pm-6pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


\"Women for Dummies\"

  • Joff
  • Joff's Avatar Post Author
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
More
26 Sep 2009 08:43 #149641 by Joff
Topic posted by Joff
May seem a bit of a crass title but there seems to be a dummies book for everything.....must be one!

How do you "deal" with the ex?

How do you "deal" with a new relationship - when do you say I am separated/divorced and have a son?

Dread to think of the dating scene now.....been 17 years so well that has changed. Maybe a step too far just now....

Interested what others can offer.

Jonathan

  • softmick
  • softmick's Avatar
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
More
26 Sep 2009 09:22 #149647 by softmick
Reply from softmick
joff
no whatyou mean where do you start i had been with my stbx 31yrs in oct only found out about what she been up to 2mounths ago
and that had been going on for18mounths as for dating i do not have a clue is it be for or after all your divorce is finalised or what

  • Deedum
  • Deedum's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
26 Sep 2009 09:49 #149651 by Deedum
Reply from Deedum
My advice is just be yourself. Be your real self and don't pretend. Don't pretend nothing bad has happened in your life, it usually has to everyone once you really get to know them.

Because my children are one of the most important parts of my life, everyone I meet will be aware of them after a first meeting.

All people are different (the world would be dull otherwise) so there will never be a book that covers all women, men, etc. All you can do is learn from your life experiences and hopefully come out a wiser, more rounded person.

  • Marshy_
  • Marshy_'s Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
30 Sep 2009 16:11 #150913 by Marshy_
Reply from Marshy_
Interesting post.
If I can just add to the be yourself stuff.

Be interested. Look interested. Listen (you know how hard it is to listen without the mind wandering?). Process what the other person says.

What most people hate is being viewed as a peice of meat. Or a sha* and not be listened to.

I know I say this a lot but I mean it. We are people 1st and last. And we all have a view and we all have something to say. If you follow these simple methods you will have people flocking to you. More friends than you need. Ok I am joking a bit. But this is basic stuff. And is at the core of atracting people. But if you can do one thing out of all this then listening is the most important one of all.

Last bit. As a challange, recount exactly word for word the last convo you had? See? You didnt listen did you? Haha. C.

  • Joff
  • Joff's Avatar Post Author
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
More
30 Sep 2009 18:56 #150952 by Joff
Reply from Joff
Thanks for the comments.

No one tells you how to deal with the situation. Was debating what to put as a title but seems to have elicited some good advice.

TBX is hard but no doubt it will come out in the wash......

Thanks again.

J

  • Gargoyle
  • Gargoyle's Avatar
  • User is blocked
  • User is blocked
More
30 Sep 2009 19:40 #150955 by Gargoyle
Reply from Gargoyle
Not sure about "Women for Dummies" but there seems to be a lot of Dummies for Women around here; me included. :laugh:

  • enliven
  • enliven's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
30 Sep 2009 19:53 #150957 by enliven
Reply from enliven
I would treat a new date as though I were single. No mention of the past.

The biggest turn off must surely be the date spouting about the spouse.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11