I have not read this book but another one of similar thought called 'stop thinking start living' and to a degree they both sport a similar message:
We learn our natural responses to different things as a young child and usually these are set by the time we reach teenage years. It is these reactions to stimuli that can become overwhelming and we can begin to 'over think' things to such a degree that we can lose perspective and become stuck in unhelpful though patterns.
STSL basic message is: A thought is just that, and unless the event is actually happening at that moment then we have the option to chose how we react to it.
How it has helped me: Becoming more self aware has allowed me to quickly spot when my brain goes into overdrive and I use some of the ideas in this book plus a few of my own to pull my thoughts away until normality is restored so to speak.
Example: driving down the road, start thinking about up coming court hearing, these thoughts are not helpful and not needed at that time so I focus on what is happening at that time, like how bumpy the road is, what is happening with the weather, whats on the radio..... and so on. Really it is anything that takes the power away from those unhelpful thoughts. It works and works well but it does take a lot of practice and at times I find I need to do it many times over an hour if there is something heavy on my mind at the time.
Anyway, both books are a good read if you are open to their ideas and willing to think in a slightly different way. For me, I take what applies to my situ and leave the rest that does not.
I have read this book - it is actually very good . i read it to help with my "anxiety" feelings rather than to do specifically with the divorce . Its a practical book and gives you exercises to help improve your life. takingbabysteps to improve. having read some of the "Divorce" books this does cover similiar ground in the recovery process but is far more indepth because it is for those who are feeling particularly anxious about situations, so its not covering the grief angle so much.
I bought this book years ago,read it,forgot about it,and left in on my book shelf to gather dust.After reading these posts I''ve dusted it off and re read it and now it makes sense to me.I think perhaps some of these books need to be read in a certain frame of mind and then the message goes home.We really do have the power to change our own thoughts and through that our lives.
Thanks for making me interested in reading it again.