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what book helped you??

  • 012jollyLass
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29 Oct 08 #60847 by 012jollyLass
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Hi mneme,

sounds similar to me in many ways. And I too had a career before the last 15 year nightmare. I got slagged off in his Questionnaire for not working full time at any time during marriage, and only part time - but hey I looked after our daughter when he was out pursuing a career as Director of local Racial Equality Council office. He wouldn't know 'Equality' if it bit him on the bum. He's Irish and from what I know the divorce law on 50/50 split is the same over there anyway - yes it's funny when we look back as he said to me on the phone the night I went into labour after I'd tracked him down to the pub ''I've just ordered a pint of Guiness and it needs to be drunk slowly, anyway what's the matter?'' (I was in Labour 4 days over!). He came home, got into bed and said ''I'm going back to Ireland and you can keep this Fuckgin country'' - at that point my waters broke, and said for him to drop me off at the maternity hosp before he left. Of course to the outside world he's Mr. Nice guy - so have lots to tell when I get my chance as will go public given his job status, and all those accounts in his own name - oh yea, tell me more - I'm all ears even if a tad deaf these days, but not daft. Well not yet! :woohoo:

I touch type so I'm volunteering to do my bit for the book and have a contact on a newspaper who is a prison correspondent - the way he's acting he may well be tasting those penal colonies - he's always rubbed it in my face for 15 years that ''at least he's not a criminal and a crook'' (I did prison support for over a decade) I felt like a nobody in my own prison - had more respect from people who committed a captial offense - true!

Yes, I'll write my story and I won't be using psudenomsns (you know what I mean !!)

Oh the mental suffering of all those years, and one beating in front of my daughter aged 5 at the time. Now the worm is turning and one day I shall be a beautiful butterfly on the inside :laugh:

never give up I say no matter what psychopath you're divorcing - Yes, mine's one of those protected by society coz of his once job title, sitting pontificating about equality, racial, diverisity, and women's issues. behind closed doors - well what I've shared is just tip of the iceberg - but ''ending it'' yes. Loved your logic.

It will be a great spontaniously combusting page turner.

Gosh I'm a granny but who cares - the clock only ticks forward

friendly encouragement

Jolly

So mine won't be a boring story -

  • Marshy_
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12 Nov 08 #64680 by Marshy_
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2 books that realy helped me. They have nothing todo with divorce though. Just one persons struggle with violent parents. Ugly and beyond ugly by Constance Briscoe. In light of the Baby P trial lately these books are an insight into abuse. I connected at all levels with these books in relation to my childhood and subsequent marriage to an abusive wife. But its a good read if not heart wrenching. C

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12 Nov 08 #64704 by saffron1968
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Hi all I know we are talking about books here and not films but just wanted to tell you about a DVD I watched last night Its a really soppy tear jerker and I would not recommend that anyone watches this unless are in a very stable and happy frame of mind.

Its called "A Chance of Snow", I am not saying that it is not a good film but if focuses around a couple who have started divorce proceedings because the husband had an affair and then they rekindle their love and relationship towards the end, a real romance and weepy and also set around Christmas which is a hard enough time for us all as it is. This film is not good when we are feeling upset and vunerable as I do. It set me off last night and I got extremely upset by everything.

Good watch but not until you feel stronger.

Another DVD arrived today from amazon, have put it away in cupboard for my son for Christmas, write up looked very good as its about the true meaning of what Christmas is all about and that is people not materialistic possessions.

Im looking forward to watching this with my son, its called, "One Magic Christmas", a disney film.

Saffy x

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18 Dec 08 #73299 by Daisy049
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a great subject !!

1 book that i read not long after this started (and i have written about this book before) was called

"Daisy Dooley does divorce"

its not a self help book or anything like that, just a plain old novel.....but...

i walked into Borders and it was just lying there..now of course the word Daisy caught my eye...daisys are my fave flower....hence the name etc etc..

and then there was the colour of the book, purple which is another fave colour of mine so it was fate that i saw it and just had to buy it...

ive given it away to another girl who's kind of going through the same thing and shes loved it too.

so yes its about a woman called Daisy Dooley who goes through basically what we have been going through....only its funny....yep really funny, the book made me laugh out loud, sob get angry all the usual emotions us guys go through.

i cant remember the name of the author now but im going to buy it again as its wierd but i miss it ! how wierd is that - that you can miss a book...

ive read other books but got bored most of the way through....the above one is def one peeps should get if you want a funny non self help book (saying that it almost is self help because of how it makes you feel - if that makes sense ?)

Daisy
xx

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29 Jan 09 #83794 by Elle
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The Games that People Play by Eric Berne helped me to understand how I could change my reactions resulting from abuse and thus improve how I cope.

18 Valleyfield (Author Unknown) highlighted how lucky I am to have survived a few of my experiences.

The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield. If you dont grasp this first time, revisit it. For those that have taken the journey, I have found out where the tenth manuscript is. For those that have also found the whereabouts of the tenth manuscript, please pm me I would love to hear your journey.

Elle x

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30 Jan 09 #84178 by Lsot1
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I have read a lot books over the last 5 months.

There wasn't one single book that helped more than any other, but the combination of them all was good. If I had to choose the best ones, they would be:

Intimacy and Solitude by Stephanie Dowrick a great book about being able to be happy alone.

also

Co-dependent No More by Melodie Beattie. This tells you how to sort out a relationship with an alcoholic or other dependent situations.

For ideas on how to save your marriage, which have worked on many ocassions for some people there are:

His Needs, Her Needs by William Harley
Surviving an Affair by William Harley

Divorce Remedy and Divorce Busting both by Michelle Wiener Davies.

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30 Jan 09 #84184 by perrypower
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the four agreements - don miguel ruiz's code for life
This is a brilliant book for people struggling with the emotional side of divorce and the loss of self worth we go through. It is not about divorce directly. Short and too the point.

DIVORCE POISON:
Protecting the
Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex - Richard A. Warshak, Ph.D.
A different approach to dealing with a vindictive-ex that shows you how to protect your relationship with your child in the face of an ex's attack on you through the child.

Women's Infidelity: Living In Limbo: What Women Really Mean When They Say, "I'm Not Happy" by Michelle Langley
I found this book really interesting, it gives an interesting insight although i think the reader needs to judge for themselves what is relevant to their situation and what is not.


Two of Everything - Babette Cole
Demetrius and Paula Ogglebutt are two perfectly beautiful and well behaved children - which is more than can be said for their problem parents. Mr. and Mrs. Ogglebutt can't agree on anything, and spend their days playing extremely nasty practical jokes on one another. Drastic measures are needed. So Paula and Demetrius put their heads together and come up with the perfect plan - 'an un-wedding'!
Age group is 3 to 7.

Ancillary Relief Handbook
Roger Bird
I think this is the definitive guide to understanding the process and how things are viewed on the finance side of divorce.

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