i found the book that helped me was called 'i used to miss him...but my aim is improving'
this is more aimed at women but is a fab book, made me laugh at loud, even when i was at my lowest. And it someghow gave me the strength to put things into perspective.
It's full of smart tips, sarcastic stories and hilarious ways to heal after a breakup. This book provides the sort of genuine advice you'd get from your best friend, but with a "rip his head off" attitude.
'Rebuilding - When Your Relationship Ends' by Dr Bruce Fisher and Dr Robert Alberti.
I picked this one up at the library and have a feeling I'll be renewing it a number of times or buying it when I've got a few pounds ahead.
It uses the idea of 'rebuilding blocks' - 19 of them - formed into the shape of a pyramid or mountain that needs to be climbed in order to return to whatever the new normal is going to be!
I'm into the third chapter and it's giving me much food for thought. The first chapter outlines the 19 blocks, then we have denial and fear as the first two blocks.
The authors are careful to point out that, just by reading a chapter and giving it some thought, you are not necessarily going to be done dealing with denial and fear, but, to me, it's very good at pointing out things to expect or things I've already been through or things I'm going to need to come back to.
It's also started me back into the habit of keeping a journal based on my feelings.
Not a book but a DVD as it made me laugh and the children loved some of the explanations as to why the parents were fighting over the child.
I found it the same time I left and it starts with Alan having been kicked out of the family home and ending up at his brothers. Goes through all the divorce, financials, upsets over not being with your child, new partners and starting a new life whilst still being responsible for the old.
It was 'Two and a half men' series one and two.
Obviously my ex wife doesn't like it (and I really don't expect some of the other ex's on here to either) but you can't win 'em all and my little boy is the same age as Jake was in it.
The children jokingly call me alan from time to time
'The Road Less Travelled' by M. Scott Peck. This was a real eye opener in understanding personality types and how people's upbringing can influence future behaviours. The author spent his lifetime studying relationships.
'Women who love too much' by Robin Norwood. I think the title explains the jist of this book.
'The Rules of Love' by Richard Templar - A common sense approach, that is sometimes forgotten in day to day relationships and a reminder of how I wish to now live my life.
'It's Called a Breakkup because it's Broken' by Greg Behrendt & Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt. A funny but informative take on relationship breakup's. (Greg is the co-author of 'He's just not that into you'). I hope some of these books may help some of you!
Great thread - although my amazon habit already addictive! I haven't had time to go through everything so excuse if repitition - I will go through them in detail later - anyway someone already mentioned rebuilding by fisher and alberti but also I loved runaway husbands by vikki stark. I felt I had had coffee and chatted with the women who had contributed. They made me feel I wasn't going mad. Hope it helps.