Hi Have you tried an internet search. There are many sites dedicated to helping children regards parents separating etc....which give contacts and book list. Its not an area I am familiar with but I am sure someone will be along soon enough to add to perrys suggestion...so keep poppin back to your post.
I agree with Amanda. If she is coping, don't throw counselling at her. My six year old has done just fine. My 11 year old struggled a bit more, but then mentioned he found everyone asking him how he was all the time the hardest bit...
They just need to know that both parents love them as people keep saying.
Re the couselling, I'm happy that I will do my best not to use her as a weapon in all this but stbx will use her without realising what he is doing (maybe it is him that needs the counselling...) furthermore he will probably try and make out that I am using her.
I just worry about taking something as perfect as out little girl and turningher into something as twisted as her father (and grandparents for that matter).
I will take your advice and see how things go for now.
Thanks again, this site is invaluable I have already recommended it to many others!