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how to curb the costs caused by x's aggro ?

  • topaz
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06 Feb 08 #12981 by topaz
Topic started by topaz
x still causing unnecessary aggro and intimidating behaviour which is causing me excessive sol costs.tried to get x to move past the hatred and need for revenge and leave the aggro behind but it's like talking to the wall.
trying to sort out finances and now x delaying matters, complicating matters by totally stupid reasons and unreasonable demands.x now causing me further deteriorating health problems but is relentless in his need to get back at me.it all began with his dislike of petition grounds.now x targeting his intense hatred at my sol (even dislikes his own sol) so anything my sol requests he refuses to comply with.this was meant to be an amicable div ,both agreed to it but x went ballistic after getting the petition.x seems oblivious to the costs he's causing us both to bear.x has lost the control factor and seems hell bent on regaining control which is rediculous.
x has refused to leave MH.Can x be made leave MH if he continues to deliberately cause problems which are causing a deterioration in my physical health and wellbeing.? and any ideas on how I can make x see sense on the money he is costing us both to lose in sol fees?

  • loobyloo
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06 Feb 08 #12985 by loobyloo
Reply from loobyloo
hey 1st of all calm down you only going to make yourself ill
Yes of course you can get him out with a non mol order do it tom with your sol, but your x2b sounds like mine and I foolishly gave in and left mh with 2 kids, dont make same mistake as me
As for the finances mine too drags his heels is obstinate and feels hes above the law
And Im starting to think he is too
Its an awful road were all on but I have heard that it ends in a much better place than it started
take big cre
looby x

  • gone1
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06 Feb 08 #13013 by gone1
Reply from gone1
Emotions run high with divorces. What was once agreed is no more as when they see it in black and white it hits hard. There is not much you can do about this. All I can say is battle on. His attitude may change when he gets his 1st bill. Be strong. We are here. Chris

  • Mrs Ingledew
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06 Feb 08 #13037 by Mrs Ingledew
Reply from Mrs Ingledew
Deep breath and big hug...

I know how you feel.

My ex and I have approx the following assets to split: 3.5k each in the house, a car each and approx the same pension valuations.

So far just to get to Decree Nisi has cost me £1600. Costs were at £750 when we asked him to take the costs ( as adultery the reason I am divorcing him) he refused. Two days before our hearing for DN he wrote a vindictive letter which the court ignored, however as he turned up and is threatening bankruptcy the costs went 50:50! You don't needto be a maths genius to realise he is £50 down on the first offer. And if he had been sensible and offered 50:50 when we made our first offer he would be £425 better off.

We wrote to him asking him to agree to voluntary disclosure and have had no response. So now we are heading down the ancillary relief through the court route - so more costs.

In fact we will end up spending more than we gain just because he wants to punish me for coping without him.

All I can say iswrite down all the things you would like to call him and either throw it into flood water (that's what i did ... not very green), bin it or burn it. And you get over him.

I dislike using the courts as I liketo be in control of my own life - but at least someone will make him do something and he can't call me a "controlling B****" or blame me in the future for the outcome.

I have also been told it is better when it is all over and the dust has settled ...

let you know in 5 years ...

it has definitely got worse over the last 8 months - but I was warned that once the courts get involved people get nasty ...

keep you pride and hold your head up high...

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