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Feeling Lost

  • peterc
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06 Mar 08 #15962 by peterc
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i live day to day - not thinking about the future at the moment, just the here and now, i am starting to make plans - i have a sol meeting booked next week to see what i can do next.

its important to take care of yourself, dont take on all of the blame yourself.

  • Mrs Ingledew
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06 Mar 08 #15974 by Mrs Ingledew
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That's the only way ...every night I write in my diary for the next day the following words

Eat
Think before act
Protect me
Do some activity
Prepare to flex...

It is working for me...

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06 Mar 08 #16004 by loopylou
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Hey there!
Your story sounds the same as mine was back in January. I too only married for less than a year. I have 1 child from a previous relationship.
Firstly, you are not alone. My advice is to keep your friends and family near you right now. Use this site for whatever you want to know and go and see your GP.
People can help you.
I can feel your emotions right now. Its so raw for you and although, I am 2 months ahead of you in emotions, it does get better.
Of course, you will feel resentful, in love with, hating him, missing him. I too have gone through all of that and I want you to know you are normal and not going mad. Its ok.
My ex moved out on a 'trial separation' but he never came back, now we are heading for divorce. I tried the mediation/collabrative route but it didn't work. He too ignored my calls texts and in fact last week went on holiday with his single mates even though he has left us with nothing.
I know now his unreliability, showing no commitment and the way he has treated me ultimately means he didn't love us and I am thankful that I can get on with my life.
You will feel so much over the next few weeks/months, but I can promise you it will get better and you will feel better and stronger.
If you need any help, or just to chat on here then message me.
I feel your pain because I have been there and I know what you are going through. Its hard but try to get help, The best help I got was talking with my GP. I have also received counselling therapy on NHS and its been really good. If your GP says you need a tablet to pick you up then accept it, it will help if only for the interim. You'll get stronger, I promise. The other bit of advice I had which has been sooooo useful is wait 4 hours before sending any texts and wait 24 hours before sending any emails. Just type them out and then save them and send them later once you've had a cuppa or a bath and time to calm down. That piece of advice has helped me so much. Try it out.
Take care and let me know if I can help anymore
XX

  • sarah38
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06 Mar 08 #16009 by sarah38
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waiting 24 hours before sending texts and emails is the best bit of advise I ave heard. It would have saved me many times. I miss my husband so much, I'm not sure whether it's that I miss 'him', or whether I just miss having someone to share my life with, share the responsibilty of the kids with etc. But whatever the reason, the feeling of loss has led to me sending him texts, voice mails, emails etc. to the point that I just feel more humiliated and angry that he is avoiding me. Angry at myself for putting myself in the position of being hurt again.
Wiki has really helped me. Whenever I'm feeling lonely I log on - there is always an inspiring blog to read or someone to chat to. Most of the people on this site are so caring and supportive. I really feel I have made new friends. Friends that understand how you feel and what you are going through.

XX

  • flowers
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06 Mar 08 #16029 by flowers
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I have been coming on here and reading things and briefly going into the chat rooms to see whats going on, but not wanting to participate in any way, because Im feeling so low, and so down and so hurt and so unworthy of anything! But the one thing that has hit me is the bit of advice on wait 24 hours before doing anything. I keep emailing, texting, phoning and ranting at my ex for the hurt he has caused me, and the injustice of it all because I loved him sooooooo much, and I stood before god and said my vows to him and meant every word!! But all Im doing is humiliating myself even more. He doesnt want me. I know how you feel!
But i am taking that bit of info on board - WAIT 24 HRS BEFORE doing anything!

My husband has been gone 3 weeks tomorrow and only fessed up to his affair 2 weeks ago. I dont see how I am ever going to feel ok again - BUT i do know the saying, time heals all - so am hoping if I put in the time - I will start to feel better.

Emalou - I wonder the same thing - but then - you know what? Why should we accept them back - when they rejected out love in the first place - I understand the pressures etc - but why turn to someone else??? Why didnt they turn to us and say there is a serious problem, lets go to counseling (or somthing to that effect!!) Why go out of the marriage? What is that solving?
And in my case, I get the feeling that my stbx is feeling out the waters with his lover (who is married with kids!!)and if it doesnt work, maybe I will do! And we have the 2 most beautiful girls in all the world (said like a true parent!!) I cant believe he has left us - for what??

Please ignore my ranting here - 3 glasses of wine helping me here!!!

Just wanted you to know that you are not alone....

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06 Mar 08 #16047 by flowers
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I am with you, and going through the exact same emotions......... but although I feel all of that, I know I should wash my hands of him. He didnt deserve me, and if Im very lucky, and the world is just - I will one day find someone that is perfect for me, he wasnt, otherwise he would have made the effort and worked on 'us'.

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08 Mar 08 #16210 by cindygirl
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My heart goes out to you, i feel very much as you do right now, numb & shocked that the man i loved for 16 years could walk out on me for another woman. He always said i was his best friend & soulmate, that no other woman could compare to me, I foolishly believed him. Im here if you ever need me, one day the sun will shine again for us all, im sure (((((hugs))))))

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