I am so sorry that you are going through this. Unfortunately, I am intimately familiar with all the feelings and thoughts that you are experiencing right now. There is nothing I can say that will take your pain away or will make you feel better instantly. That will only come with time. I can only tell you what helped me get through that horrible time when I didn't know how I would make it through the day.
Lean on your family and friends for support and love as much as possible. You are going to need them right now more than ever. Focus your love and attention on your child as much as possible. They are going to need you now as well. Take care of yourself and try to keep as busy as you possibly can so you won't have as much time to dwell on how horrible you feel. Make sure you eat and get rest as much as you possibly can and try to take care of yourself. Find a counselor or therapist and make an appointment to discuss what you're going through as well as to gain some insight. Don't forget to love yourself. This is not your fault and although it doesn't feel like it at the moment, you will get through this, no matter what happens and you will feel better. My heart goes out to you.
i was also wondering about FrankieLee how r u?
the advice from Looploo is brill wait 24 hrs before sending text or emails
I compose text message and save it in drafts and then look at it couple hrs later and decide whether to send, more often than not i delete as i realise he doesnt even warrant my attention.
Wait for 24hrs before texing, emailin or phoning is BRILLIANT!!