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FEELING EMPTY

  • 80SGIRLWOKEUP
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26 Feb 08 #15109 by 80SGIRLWOKEUP
Topic started by 80SGIRLWOKEUP
Hi all
i have recently got my nisi after a huge battle with ex over everything from business, cars, house, bank accounts, even life assurance. I have been in Court 3xs for non-mol and had to agree contact agreement for kids.
He now has a gfriend and rubs my nose in it at every opportunity!
It is clear that we wil not have a reasonable post divorce life there is no common ground he bitches about everything and is still really angry with me.
A week after nisi he text me to say he would never have divorced me and what was the rush! He left me after an abusive relationship!
This text really upset me and i am now really depressed i take kids to school then go home and climb into bed!
I put make up on to meet friends and end up in tears when they ask me about divorce. I feel like i have hit a huge brick wall. My emotions are overwhelming and it is effecting my relationship with my kids, I feel like i am just treading water.
It doesnt feel much better than when he was here making my life hell, as he still makes my life hell.
Any ideas from u all would be welcome, is it normal to feel soo deflated and so sad
80s

  • ag234
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26 Feb 08 #15112 by ag234
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80's

Look on this as an opportunity to try out all the things you wanted to do, but couldn't before.

After 2 years, my X still has the family home, hosts dinner parties,works 2 days a week, gets babysitters frequently, and basically leads the same life as before, only with even more socialising.

I don't actually have a permanent home yet and work full time, whilst undertaking 50% childcare.

Could be depressing, but one step at a time.

To stop myself going mad I try to rediscover the 1980's bloke within, buy doing things which I had forgotten I liked doing over the last 12 years . ( lik egoing to gigs: Squeeze, Crowded House etc )

This may help .

Ag

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26 Feb 08 #15113 by ag234
Reply from ag234
80's

Look on this as an opportunity to try out all the things you wanted to do, but couldn't before.

After 2 years, my X still has the family home, hosts dinner parties,works 2 days a week, gets babysitters frequently, and basically leads the same life as before, only with even more socialising.

I don't actually have a permanent home yet and work full time, whilst undertaking 50% childcare.

Could be depressing, but one step at a time.

To stop myself going mad I try to rediscover the 1980's bloke within, buy doing things which I had forgotten I liked doing over the last 12 years . ( lik egoing to gigs: Squeeze, Crowded House etc )

This may help .

Ag

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26 Feb 08 #15114 by 80SGIRLWOKEUP
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thanks ag234 it does help
i have started to rediscover the things i used to like i do go to concerts the theatre meet up with people but my emotions re ex are all over the place
my friends say u have got to move on its over! he has moved on! but still makes my life hell
i am trying to move on but on a bad day like today feel overwhelmed
thanks

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26 Feb 08 #15118 by hostee
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I know what you mean about how they still manage to make u feel pants even when its over or they have moved on, but what you must not do is let him control you anymore or your emotions, us girls are good at the acting game, the brave face the coping mechanisum, multi tasking etc etc, slap on that war paint and make yourself get out in the world again, try new things, get to the gym or swim pull on your mates or family to pick you up when your down, and if necessary dont read his texts get someone clsoe to read them for you and tell you what you need to know if anything rather than u read it and have your whole day/week etc ruined, you will get through this but DONT go to bed and hide,,.... this is the start of your life again take it slowly and always be positive.. failing that get a voodoo doll and enjoy sticking pins in his privates under the duvet with a torch.....

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26 Feb 08 #15122 by 80SGIRLWOKEUP
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Hi Hostee
thanks ur right about the text messages, they do have the affect of knocking me off course and upsetting me for days!
I wil definately consider changing my number and not letting him know!
I am going to gym and weight watchers and have lost 6 lbs which gives me a great boost!
I am finding it very hard to get out a socialise though as all my mates are in relationships or are married.
Thank you I know i shouldnt bury myself under the duvet but on the odd day i am still findin it really hard to hold everything together, on a good day though i am so positive and strong! the highs and lows are difficult to manage
best wishes 80s

  • mike62
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26 Feb 08 #15130 by mike62
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80s
Where is that feisty girl that answered a few posts along the way? Under a duvet? Wassat all about?:ohmy:

It is soooo pants this whole process! I feel like that myself sometimes. Stick my head in the sand and hope it will all go away. It will, but just not today.

Tomorrow is another day, a day closer to the life you want. The one that you deserve - free of the ex and his irritating influence. :angry:

You can do it. I know what you mean about the friends thing - Couples aren't always the best company are they?

But we all have to face that period of readjustment, when we find the person we once were and become them again.

Nihil Illegitimi Carborundum

Don't let the b*st*rd grind you down!


Take care, and be nice to yourself - you deserve it.

Mike

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