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those painful tears

  • jelly4toes
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10 Mar 08 #16326 by jelly4toes
Topic started by jelly4toes
the pain 16 months on still feels like a red hot poker is being stabbed right through my heart.when does it stop

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10 Mar 08 #16329 by megan
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I'm so sorry your having such a rough time.
It's only been 4 months for me so I don't have an answer for you. But I do understand the feeling.
Look after yourself and have a big hug from me.

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10 Mar 08 #16330 by mike62
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jelly4toes,
13 months on for me and I have good and very dark days still. I honestly don't think the pain ever goes away completely. I believe it lessens to sadness rather than hurt. How long? I don't know. In your case jelly4toes, where your STBX has left you virtually bankrupt with a dependant child and enjoys a comfortable lifestyle, the resentment and anger will inevitably linger longer than those in different circumstances. Some are significantly more fortunate in their outcomes. I believe that once you have dealt with the bankrupcy issue, you will cross a major personal hurdle and will begin to be able to move on into a new life for you and your daughter.
Best of luck
Mike

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10 Mar 08 #16331 by Angel557
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It's has been 2 yrs and 7 months for me , with many many up's and down's .I felt i was ok just to get knocked back again and the pain started all over again.Dec 07 a grey cloud came from nowhere and sat above my head turning darker was pretty much the worst i felt in the whole of this process.This cloud only lifted last month and that is due to me having no more feelings towards him thats what it seems you have to aim for is getting the feelings for that person out of your system and as you can see it does take quite a long time there is no magic cure.Take 1 day at a time and the light at the end of the tunnel will be there.

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10 Mar 08 #16340 by jelly4toes
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thankyou everyone.

the bankruptcy is looming larger i have booked 18th at court.I cannot believe this is happening to me i have worked so hard all my life starting at 15 with a job in the pie and peas cafe in the market9THERE WILL BE MANY PEOPLE WHO REMEMBER WALKING OUT COVERED IN THE PIES AND PEAS,CLUMSY WAS MY MIDDLE NAME)At uni i also worked as a care ast and cleaner.

i feel ,such a failure there is no way out of the debt other than bankruptcy.i feel phisically sick not knowing whether we will be able to remain in our home.
Last night my daughter came back from being with the ex.She hasn't met her he still pretends he lives in a flat that he rents to take daughter to.she heard him say i love you to the other woman.she came back feeling hurt and scared.he won't even keep any of daughters things at the flat.i trul believe the flat is so he can carry on his gay lifestyle which the new rich girlfriend knows nothing of.I felt a searing pain that went right thru my body when my daughter told me of the conversation she overheard.

I have lost every bit of confidence and self esteem.I didn't pursue the career i should have instead i worked unsociabe hours so as to support him climbing the career ladder.i felt a nothing with him and i feel more of a nothing without him.as he once said to me how can you want me bac after all i have done to you you stupid b have you no fing self esteem.tis true and i don't fing know how to turn my life around.

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10 Mar 08 #16343 by peterc
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jelly,

learn to use your pain as strength to carry on for yourself and your daughter, it is no mean feat what you have gone through, so be strong!

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