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Scared and Alone life sucks

  • mike5555
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19 Mar 08 #17193 by mike5555
Topic started by mike5555
Been married for 20 years wife told me two weeks ago
that she feels out of love with me,She said we grew apart
and she needed a divorce,I have moved out friday to my own place,She was right we were safe together but her love is and has been gone. I have never been alone,Had my kids over last night
and after dropping them off for school want home pulled in the garage closed door with truck running and sat there for a few,Felt like that might be the best thing for me ,big macho guy I once thought I was started to cry and turned the truck off,My love for god and my kids saved me this time however the highs and lows I cant stand!!!!!!!!!
How does one deal with such grief and sarrow,I dont want to die yet I dont want to live either mike

  • peterc
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19 Mar 08 #17194 by peterc
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mike - you do get over this, m wife did the same to me (although i have since found out she was having an affair!!!)

Take care of yourself, take comfort in your kids - love and cherish them - as the love that they give you is unconditional! - be there for them, and they will be there for you.

ring friends and family, DO NOT be afraid of feeling low and tearful, it is part of the healing process that you have to go through to make you a better person the other side.

peter

  • ex=why?
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19 Mar 08 #17195 by ex=why?
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Mike,
You are worth more than her and just think what you would lose - and more importanatly what your children would lose if you were gone for good: nothing, nothing is worth there loss of you. It's hard when it happens, but each day will make you slightly stronger: being alone will make you think, but it will help to. If your children are anything like mine they are the best thing in the world and every painful day is a day closer to seeing them again and hugging them, and laughing with them. Don't give in to her. The world is there to enjoy and God and the angels will see you through; I struggle too but knowing it will get better helps and everyone will tell you that too. Never give up, she's not worth it - BUT THEY ARE.

  • kidsinbulgaria
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19 Mar 08 #17209 by kidsinbulgaria
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Why do we have low moments?
We can only grade what is good and bad in our life, by comparing the two experiences together.
Anyone who fails to experience low moments will not truly appreciate the good moments when they next come along.

Concentrate on the Positives
You say that you have kids at school. Surely you want to see them graduate, go to prom, blossom into adulthood, enter their own relationships, make their own mistakes then cry on your shoulder when they need your help.

Imagine walking your offspring down the aisle when they have met their soul partner...

Imagine the patter of tiny feet when you become a grandparent for the first time...

Imagine them throwing you a surprise retirement party before you embark on sailing round the world in a yacht...

I do not even know you but aleady from you post I can see all of these momentous events in your future.

A blob of clay is quite plain and could be mistakenly thrown in the trash. However the same blob of clay once it has been crafted by an artist can be a magnificent sight and become very valuable over time.

Your life may appear to be a blob of clay at the moment but it has potential....

The future is bright..the future is yours to craft as beautifully as you allow/wish....

Stay strong, not only for yourself but for your kids and in the future for their kids...

  • megan
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19 Mar 08 #17213 by megan
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Hi Mike
Yes I've been there too. If you look at my post and lots of others they are all crys for help in the fist few weeks when your whole life has been turned upside down.
It does get easier and you have your children. They love you because you are you and because you are there for them. It may not be the way you pictured your life but it is life.
Give yourself some time to grieve for the past but also look forward to the future. I wish I had written a blog because often it's only by looking back at where you were you can see how far forward you have come.
Cry shout and punch a pillow when on your own. take support from anyone who offers, and when you have your children enjoy the time. When they aren't with you plan for the next visit.
You will laugh again...honest

  • jelly4toes
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24 Mar 08 #17518 by jelly4toes
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scuse me big guy! hugs from the uk. what makes you think you are alone,:huh:you have all your new buddies (as they say in the uk)these feelings suck don't forget you were injured by your ex it takes time to heal i am still healing.i used to think shut the f up when people said to me time time time but it is true.you will be ok big guy.we are here to love you and take care of you.chunk it down chunk it down when the pain stabs you,back to basucs do the littlest of things.i hate all of this crap too i thought it was for life i would have died for my ex.i had to go bankrupt last week i feel so crap and such a failure.he refused to pay the ch maintenance i can't pay the mortgage what is round the corner for us makes my stomach churn literally.hang in there a rainbow will come your way.those kids would be traumatised without you .they would be damaged for life without theie great dad who they look up to.

  • Marshy_
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24 Mar 08 #17520 by Marshy_
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Mike. Life does suck sometimes and you do feel alone at times. I know. But there is a lite at the end. I am living proof. 2 years ago my wife had an affair that ended 12 years of so so marriage. I was a total wreck. But now I am divorced and totaly happy. Ok I could do with some decent speakers but hey. I was scared of being single but its great. Honest. I have so much fun now and it feels like I am living my life not just taking a bit part in it. I am so glad this happened to me. You will be fine. Just work your way thru it and all will be ok. Trust me. I am an engineer! Chris.

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