A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info


What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Just feel like giving up :'(

  • Donnylass
  • Donnylass's Avatar
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
More
22 Mar 08 #17427 by Donnylass
Reply from Donnylass
Welcome to new friends. Hang in there, at some point most of us have felt similar emotions to the ones you are experiencing now. I think most of us are up + down. For those of us at the begining of this life changing episode, we probably spend more time in the 'down', but those who are further down the path have personally given me hope that the 'ups' will increase in frequency.
Try not to take the blame for everything that is happening-as Megan says our partners are very good at making us feel like that to appease their guilt.
Try the chat room-usually a lot of support + fun-don't be afraid of that word!
Keep your chin up
donnylass x ;)

  • Sanctuary
  • Sanctuary's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
23 Mar 08 #17452 by Sanctuary
Reply from Sanctuary
First of all i'd like to thank Wikivorce for having this fabulous site that I accidently stumbled across. I really don't know how i'd of got through yesterday without it. And I would like to thank everyone that has posted words of encouragement, advise & suport and to my new friends:)

  • peterc
  • peterc's Avatar
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
More
23 Mar 08 #17455 by peterc
Reply from peterc
look after yourself sanctuary - cos only you can pull yourself out of this mess. I can say that it does become easier - and the ups become longer than the downs!!!

If you dont have close friends to talk to, speak to your doctor who should be able to recommend a counseller who you can offload onto :)- it certainly helped me.

peter

  • MazzB
  • MazzB's Avatar
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
More
23 Mar 08 #17469 by MazzB
Reply from MazzB
hi i feel exactly like you! my hubby of 24 years has decided that he has no feelings for me at all! i admit we havent been getting on well but as i said to him if he hadnt messed about 6 months ago it may be different. i cant forget what happened and thats the problem. my feelings for him have changed but thought we could get over it but we cant and its killing me!

  • jelly4toes
  • jelly4toes's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
24 Mar 08 #17516 by jelly4toes
Reply from jelly4toes
hey i really don't think you stumbled on here by accident i think you were guided here in the same way we all were.i relly feel like giving up to if it wasn't for flossy pops pulling my hair out at 7am every morning i don't know how i would have ever got out of bed again.teenagers are monsters and leeches in disguise.i mean gods wonderful gifts to us.the monsters will give you structure to the hell you find your self in.bne thankful for that without them you would slide downwards.i would say don't put pressure on you to find a job take it slowly my saying that keeps me going is chunk it down go back to basics food sleep kids.you have been stabbed through the heart it is a real wound takes time.i am still heartbroken live with fear self loathing and blame it is not you its him.chunk it down girl baby steps are the way to go.our loving community here is a special place a more safer and loving place than we ever had in the institution of marriage.reach out to others on here it not only helps you it helps us all we feel we are valuable again.love and hugs are free on here and unconditional.:kiss:

  • Sanctuary
  • Sanctuary's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
25 Mar 08 #17591 by Sanctuary
Reply from Sanctuary
Thank you jelly & others for your suportive replies :)
I feel as though I really need a job, Because it would give me more self confidence & stop me mopping about the house continuously thinking about "why" It's really driving me crazy i'm so consumed in wanting answers. Why has he gone, What have I done? I just wish he'd tlk to me.
I feel like i'm trapped in a box & I want out.
And as for my daughter no matter how much I love her, I'm not going to tolerate anymore frm her. Thts a few times now tht she has come home drunk & has lashed out at me both verbally & physically. I think if it happens again she will find her stuff on the doorstep. Now I look & feel a bad mother. I also think she is spying on me, As I overheard her on the fone & it was more than obvious tht it was to her dad. Then tht makes me angry cos he will tlk to her & not me. I have spoke to my daughter & told her to tell him not to put her in tht situation of her being in the middle

I want out of this box I feel i'm in & I don't know how to do it!!!

  • Ephelia
  • Ephelia's Avatar
  • User is blocked
  • User is blocked
More
25 Mar 08 #17605 by Ephelia
Reply from Ephelia
You have my sympathy - you're in such a difficult position.

You are right that your daughter's behavior is quite out of order and unacceptable but you don't really mean you'll throw her out. She might not look like it but she's a scared kid underneath and needs someone to start acting like the 'grown up' here - her father clearly isn't, so you must. You've clearly had a really crap few months but you've survived this far, which shows you can survive more (not fair that you have to but you can).

I'm with jelly4toes on this - 'chunk it down' is good advice. Although, a job might be just what you need. Help with finances and get you out of the house, so think about it. Even if it doesn't pay much it gets you out.

You can get through this; take a firm stand with your daughter; ground her if you can (although I know that's not easy); contact your husband (write if necessary - keep a copy to show you've been reasonable) and state your views and wants - that way its on record.

Good luck and take care.

You haven't done anything wrong - this is his crisis and he's a bastard to screw you up because of it without any discussion with you beforehand - cowardice probably on his part - knew it would cause a 'scene' and was too much of a coward to face it.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11