I'm finding it so hard to carry on since discovering my husbands affair. We were married 16 years & he has been seeing & sleeping a younger woman for nearly a year now. I discovered it last November & he told me he was giving her up & going to try to make our marriage work. I found out he was still seeing her so put in for divorce, but i'm finding every minute of every day so hard to live, i'm not eating or sleping, getting constant headaches with the stress & i cant stop thinking about him & her. He told me 2 weeks ago it was over again but i didnt believe him, i was right not to, as within days he was back with her. Im tired of him telling me he doesnt want to lose me, pulling my heartstrings & then continuing to see her. The other day i text him & said i want no more contact whatsoever, to leave me alone as i'm sick of his lies, but now i feel really depressed & so lonely. Will i ever be happy again & get over this?
First a big hug for you, and another one!
the short answer is, yes, you will be happy again, and yes, you will get over this. But each person is different, some take longer than others. All I can advise is to take each day as it comes, enjoy the good days (because there will be those) and try to deal with the bad ones. It may take you a while to find the "middle ground" where your days arent so up and down, but it will come, in time.
Dont feel that you have to be on your own - we are here for you, anytime. And if Im not in chat, just send me a private message.
When you feel down just log onto this site, we're all in the same boat and are here to give support and advice to each other. It will get easier as time goes on, focus on your own wellbeing for now and concentrate on getting through this. You might feel more positive once you start the ball rolling regarding divorce proceedings etc, instead of being in limbo with your marriage. Once the trust has gone it's hard to salvage anything that is strong enough to keep the marriage together. Be true to yourself and stay positive.
You will get over this in time,I am only 5 weeks in,my hubby of 28 years phoned and told me it was all over and he wasn't coming home,completely out of the blue. Boy was that a shock to the system, I thought I was having a heart attack it hurt so much, and yes there is someone else too.
I find just taking one day at a time helps,eat when I can and sleep,well I could have slept morning noon and night before this happened lucky if I grab 4 hours a night now,but if you read through other people experiences on here,there is light at the end of the tunnel.
You have to go through the grieving process,as you have been with this man for a long time.I have had to tell my stbx to stop sending me emails as it was making it a lot harder for me, and I just couldn't cope,I have 4 children and I keep going for them, they are hurting too as they might only see him once a year if he bothers.
Hi Cindy, I know the experience, as I too have had a similar one. It really hurts when your husband lies in your face. It seems like he is trapped in a relationship, just like my husband. But guess what? You are more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus! The period of depression that you are going through will soon come to an end. It takes work on your part though. Tell yourself beautiful things about you. Just know that you are lovely and that he will pay for what he has done some day. The way that I have dealth with my experience is through prayer but you need a support group. Call a pastor and read Proverbs 3, 5, 6 and you will see what God says about adultery. This will help to comfort you to know that you will get justice. Cindy, I am very willing to talk with you about this experience and I am willing to help you. YOU can call on me but preferably in the night when I am home. I will pray for you. God will not give you more than you can bear. Thank and praise God in all of this and you will see things begin to turn around for you. God bless.
Thank you everyone for your support here, i know i'm not alone in all of this but it often feels as though i am, i guess it does for many of you too. I wish i could snap out of this depression & at least start sleeping again, that way i might get stronger, but maybe i just need to deal with the pain to get over it all.
(Writer) I think your right, my ex keeps saying he feels trapped in the relationship & that its gone too far to get out of, though i cant believe that! I do think one day it will all come back on him though & he will suffer the pain i feel now, sigh, i do believe in God & i keep praying for strength to get through each day. Thanks, Cindygirl