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So depressed & lonely

  • jelly4toes
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12 Apr 08 #19305 by jelly4toes
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my heart is smashed into a million pieces too.the deciet lies hurt pain is like nothing ever known .
i feel like i am rearranging the chairs on the titanic each day.we are here to love and support each other and we have to believe we can get through this.when people say there is light at the end of the tunnel my heart sinks in my heart i believe the light to be a rather fast train about to kill me.my glass is less than half full.it is empty.but we have to go on and we have to find the courage to get us through the next 10 mins.i would say that the meat cleaver approach is the only way forward when in such pain.no contact between you and them,otherwise hope is resurrected and that is false hope which again is a killer.keep coming on here we all know these terrible feelings and have a common understanding that creates a strong sense of comradeship.hang in there.do not contact him not once no txts emails phone calls and do not believe a word he says to you.

  • cindygirl
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20 Apr 08 #19969 by cindygirl
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Hi Jelly4toes, im sorry you too are going through this, my heart goes out to you. Ive realised this week what an excellent liar my stbx has become, im starting to hate him for it now, hate feels slightly better than love and im not so depressed in this mood, i hope it lasts awhile! My stbx still tries to be friends with me, but last week i told him i didnt want to see him at all. I went out on a date with a nice guy, we had a lot of fun & a lot in common, im not saying hes the man for me, but hes becoming a good friend when im lonely or just need a chat. My stbx is very very jealous of this guy and is now telling me its over with his girlfriend, i dont believe him of course, why would i? Anyway, just wanted to post & tell you all that im doing my best to fill my empty days this week & i feel better for it. Thanks for your replies, take care x

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20 Apr 08 #19977 by jelly4toes
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i am so proud of you stood out there at the front shining the torch for all of us who are too scared to go out there and look to see what there is you give this little jelly a glimmer of hope.you are doing fab i can see it in my crystal ball.Of course ex 2b is jealous don't try the friends thingy yet its a foot in the door in an attempt to control you.how dare you move on is what he is really thinking.

  • CrusaderGirl
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20 Apr 08 #20020 by CrusaderGirl
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Hi CindyGirl

Ref being depressed and lonely, since finding this site my spirits have lifted and I know when I feel lonely I can have a live chat with someone.

It has been over 3 months since my husband moved out and I felt lonely and always sat thinking what is he doing now, knowing that he is sharing his life with another woman. I'd cry every night and look like a Panda each morning. I do have the occasional out burst, but not as much as I did. I miss the companionship and the security. I admit I do still love him. It is hard to think how I coped before I ever met my ex hubby to be. But I do still wish the days would pass a bit quicker. I don't mind if this year passes along quickly as it is a year I wish to forget.

If your friends offer to talk at anytime take them up on it, don't hang just sit at home on your own. If they ask you round their house for a cup of tea, go round, it will help. Plus getting the divorce process up and running is a weight off your shoulders especially if being done through a Solicitor.

Don't get down CindyGirl, it will get better and always remember there are lots of others in our situation and they are always willing to help.

Good Luck
CrusaderGirl:lol:

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20 Apr 08 #20050 by cindygirl
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Hi Jelly4toes, i think the secret to going out again is to tell yourself you're NOT looking for another man, simply getting out & about to find friends to chat with or to share a laugh and a drink. I went out a few times months ago trying to replace my ex, what a disaster i felt those nights to be next day! I stopped looking to replace him weeks ago and realised i just need more friends in my life to fill the lonely times when they hit me, this has worked for me. When i was married my hubby was so controlling & jealous that i couldn't have friends round, so i kept just the one true friend that ive known since i was young. Thankfully today all my old mates are coming back into my life, i'm so much happier this week. I took baby steps each day til i got a bit stronger & stronger, then i found i could take bigger ones, you will too in time. Try to get out for a drink & a dance if you can with a friend, you might need to do it many times like i did before you realise you're actually enjoying yourself, not simply putting yourself out there for a new man! Good luck, keep going forward, it will come x

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20 Apr 08 #20051 by cindygirl
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Hi CrusaderGirl, im sorry you've been through this too, i know how much it hurts, and how you cry until you look terrible next day. I did it for weeks too, couldn't stop thinking of him with his new woman. Today i just tell myself he has lost a good, honest, caring wife that love him to bits, will she still be there in 16 years? Can he cope taking on her 6 kids when we didn't have any? I just know the answers & its a big NO! His mistake if he thought i would never find out & be here when it all went wrong. You're right though, ring a friend for a chat or invite them for a cup of tea if you get lonely, its what has helped me through to where i am today, and thats much much brighter in my mind. Keep going forward, you will see the light at the end of the tunnel soon x

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