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Hanging On To Every Word Your Ex Says

  • CrusaderGirl
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22 Apr 08 #20221 by CrusaderGirl
Topic started by CrusaderGirl
Hi All!

Does anyone have the same problem that I have?
Each time I talk to my Ex to be, I feel he wants to come back.
Example regarding our wills, when he moved out and then eventually told me about the other woman, I automatically changed my will and informed him he would have to change is also. He said he hasn't changed it yet, as I am still his wife. This always makes me think he doesn't really want the divorce, so I keep that in the back of my mind.
He says he still cares for me and that he doesn't want to lose our friendship.
Me hanging on to what he says, is it because I still love him or is it part of the process? Does everybody else feel like that in this situation?
I keep trying to tell myself that it is over, but I have such strong feelings for my Ex to be, and my friends can see how much it is hurting.
Today, I feel really low and miss him a lot.
I know it will take time.
CrusaderGirl :(

  • Ephelia
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22 Apr 08 #20222 by Ephelia
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Has he said he wants to come back? Could you ask him about this? You might not like his answer but at least you'd be clearer in your own mind.

Sending you best wishes.

  • mike62
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22 Apr 08 #20223 by mike62
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Crusadergirl,
15 months on from being told, I still have wobbly days too. But I deal with it by saying to myself that there is no going back - once trust is broken, how can you trust again? When would the next time be?

There is a big wide world out there to enjoy. Nice to have someone to enjoy it with. But maybe not just at the moment. You don't know what or who is around the next corner. Familiarity and comfort are strong feelings and draw us back to our ex's. But that doesn't mean that this is the only way forward.

So go get your tabard with the big red cross on ;), and find that big world that is out there.:woohoo:But you have to find the fun-loving, happy go lucky crusadergirl that existed before him first.

Best of luck and a big hug - I know exactly how you are feeling

Mike

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22 Apr 08 #20224 by Ephelia
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Has he said he wants to come back? Could you ask him about this? You might not like his answer but at least you'd be clearer in your own mind.

Sending you best wishes.

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22 Apr 08 #20271 by Rowrow
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My ex always says things to me like that. He tells me he misses me more than anything and stuff and in the beginning it really screwed me up, but now i tell myself if he really wanted to come back he would have and its just another way for him to try and control me.
Dont let him do it to you!
It does get easier!

  • CrusaderGirl
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22 Apr 08 #20272 by CrusaderGirl
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Thank you Rowrow for your message. You are right if he wanted to come back he would of by now.

  • Marshy_
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23 Apr 08 #20334 by Marshy_
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Hi. I think it depends on which side of the tracks you are. I did this once. I read far to much into it. Emotions are running high you feel betrayed, hurt and angry that this piece of shit could do this to you. Try not to listen to much. Take it as Red that this person has gone and you just have to accept and in time get over it.

On the wills side. The will you have just changed will be void after the divorce. No will survives marriage or divorce.You will have to do it again one day. Perhaps thats why he has avoided doing it. Information realy is power. Falk

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