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how do you cope

  • dave.p
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07 May 08 #21815 by dave.p
Topic started by dave.p
been trying to hold my own!!!!
starting to struggle with not just the violent abuse but now the mental too.
How does it seem to be right. the slightest load bang i run and hide thinking its going to happen again.
please help with you views on where to go from here

  • pickers
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07 May 08 #21821 by pickers
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Dave - don't panic. It'll get sorted out. Just don't agree to dealing with things before you're ready. Put yourself in charge on the process. It's up to you to do that.

  • lunatic32
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08 May 08 #21836 by lunatic32
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Hi Dave

My advice would be to get yourself somewhere safe. Whether that be to a shelter or to family, whatever. You cant live like that! If you're flinching and hiding, then there is a serious problem.
Dont put up with it, nobody should be treated the way you are being treated, especially not by someone who claims to love them!
Domestic violence is wrong in any capacity, mental, physical etc etc. You deserve so much better.

Take care of yourself.

lunatic x

  • IKNOWNOW
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08 May 08 #21843 by IKNOWNOW
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Dave P

There are helplines that you can talk to about your situation. If I recall you wanted to stay and work things through with your wife but it seems clear that this is not a safe environment to be either physically or mentally.

This is no way to live, you become a shell of yourself. You can no longer recognise the person you were. I am not going to tell you it is going to be easy for you but there are people who can help you start to deal with what is going on in your life.

Don't have the time at the mo, getting kids ready for school, but will post some helpline phone numbers on here for you later.

Don't feel alone in all this, there are people on here willing to support you through this troubling time.

Well Dave, you hold on in there, just know there is a way out if you want it, although I appreciate how hard this is first hand. I have been there too.

Take real care of yourself,

xx Sarah xx

  • rubytuesday
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08 May 08 #21852 by rubytuesday
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Hi Dave

i have posted a couple of links to male-orientated helplines and websites that you may find of some use.

When you have lived such a life, it is natural to think that every minor situation will blow up in to something major, once you get the help you need, your self-esteem and self-belief will come back, piece by piece, and one day you will become whole again. There is no given timeline for this, as everyone who has suffered abuse is different, in the same way that we are all different as humans. For me, it has taken a long time, but the important thing is that I became whole again - you will too.

Take Care,

Ruby

www.ncdv.org.uk/

www.mensadviceline.org.uk/

mencrytoo.homestead.com/

Victim Support Male Helpline: 0800 328 3623

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