So sorry your feeling so down.
My H left me in Nov. after 36yrs together I was 16 when we met and I thought it was the end of the world. But what someone on here told me (sorry can't remember who, but eternally grateful) was that you have no control over the other person, you can only change you.
So think about changing the person he has made you become into the person you would like to become. Study, volunteer, write lists of small things you want to achieve and go for it. He will hate seeing you get control of yourself back so concentrate on that.
You can do it, your better than him.
Big virtual hug from me and look after yourself. x
Thanks so much to everyone who has replied- your words mean a lot and help me feel so much less isolated.
Having no family or friends to talk to doesn't help. and feeling so overwhelmed I try to avoid even facing it.
Problem is, first court hearing about finances coming up 24th June and I'm in such a mess that I haven't a clue what I should be asking for, or what to expect as any kind of reasonable settlement- I feel like I'll just accept anything just to get this over with.
I am overdrawn at the bank, couldn't afford to buy any food this week till he came round with next weeks cash- after me begging for it- I'm scared I'll end up with nowhere to live, but he knows that and likes me staying in the FMH, knowing I have no choice, and its like I just can't get away from him walking in when he wants.
He's left me with so much of his clutter, everything he doesn't want, and I just need the strength to box it all up and pile it in my car and dump it at the bungalow he's renting. All his stuff around me just blows my mind.
At least I'm starting to be kind to myself now- am trying to eat healthily and lose the 6 stone I've gained, stop drinking so much as it really makes me feel worse not better, and sleep more- I was in total self destruct mode- also read a book called 'Self Help for your Nerves', which has helped me realise that I'm on the way to nervous and emotional breakdown/exhaustion, and how to stop my racing heart/mind and over sensitivity etc.- But that's what he wants and he's not getting it- Shows I have some strength left somewhere I suppose