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Dont know how to move on!! The humiliation!!

  • LadyAquarius
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29 May 08 #23969 by LadyAquarius
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can anyone tell me how the hell to move on with my life? My husband of 11 years left me a month ago with my 5 kids saying he was confused but didnt have another woman & for the last month I have been begginmg him to come home & in response he was sending me these strange texts which didnt sound like him & I have found out today that he has got another woman!! & she has ben replying to my texts for him!! & now I feel so humiliated cos everything I have been saying to him she has read & got involved in!! I dont know what to do I am such a mess!! How could he lie to me like he has & treat me like this??

  • megan
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29 May 08 #23973 by megan
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Hi Jackie
Welcome to wiki. So sorry to hear your story but it sounds so much like lots of us on here.
Why do you feel humiliated? You are married to him have children by him and he has behaved appallingly.
He's the one who left his family who was to cowardly to admit why and was so weak he allows her to answer his text's.
You have no need to feel humiliated put your head up be the best mother you can (it will be hard to do at the moment)and don't take his guilt on board.
There are loads of people on here who will help and support you. Lots of sad stories but often we even see the funny side of it all.
So big virtual hug from me. Keep posting and good luck

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29 May 08 #23994 by rasher
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Hi Jackie

Its not easy - and you wont be moving on just yet - you will more likely be trying to get your head round the situation. I know why you feel humiliated but yr husband was right when he said he didnt know what he was doing - other than committing relationship suicide. However hes made a fool of himself more than you for dealing with it in such a foolish way. Who ever he has got involved with clearly thinks she can take the upper hand but hes the one responsible for allowing that to happen. Theres no easy way to get through this shock you just need to scream, rant rave cry what ever you need to acknowledge the feelings and then try to focus on the kids as a distraction from the awfulness of it. I hope you have some support around you and do use this site to talk with others who are going through or have gone through the same situation - they more than anyone know just how you feel. Wishing you well - Rasher

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30 May 08 #24000 by dawn1
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feeling sick with the humiliation, confusion as to why and the anger over what he has done are all ways of helping you come to terms with the fact that he has left.
your anger towards him will help you cope better, that will go but it might take up to a year or more. concentrate on the kids and have as many friends round for support as you can, come on the chat anytime day or nite and talk to others.
try and be strong it does get easier.
take care
kind regards dawn

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30 May 08 #24003 by jelly4toes
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welcome to the home of the wounded soul.we are all 100% either in the same place or travelling through this painful experience/You can hold your head up high girl you did nothing wrong.People will tell you that getting thru this is a grieving process.At first when people said that i thought oh so what.But the grieving process is just that it really is you have to be kind to yourself in a way you would be to a child who you picked up who had just been run over.don't look too far ahead the next hour is far enuff when your heart is broken in two.we are all here to offer love ,hugs and an understanding that you won't find elsewhere.those who are a bit furthe on in this unwelcome process will guide you.hang in there.

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30 May 08 #24032 by LadyAquarius
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Thanks for that. The other prob I have got is I am very close with his family & his dad is helping me with the diy at my house & he tells me that she has been there to meet them etc & I tears me up inside & I just cant cope with the thought of him moving on without me!!

  • IKNOWNOW
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30 May 08 #24041 by IKNOWNOW
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Jackie,

Hi hun, like everyone says, take things a bit at a time; be angry, be upset but with it be strong.

Like me you have 5 wonderful children and they will get you through this just by being them. The little things that they do that you can't help but smile at; you know what I mean!

As for his family, it is hard for them; you will always be the mother of their grandchildren/nephews/nieces but HE is their flesh and blood and however bad he has behaved they will always be there for him.

My mother-in-law sat there the other day going on about how wonderful my ex-husband's fiancee is in front of me and the children without a second thought. Our relationship has changed because she doesn't know quite what to do; she is old school and thinks I should have stuck it out.

Anyway Jackie, you will have your good days and your bad days but we at wiki are always here as a shoulder to cry on, somewhere to hide from the rest of the world, to understand, to hold your hand or just to have a laugh with and forget your troubles.

Stick with us and you will find your inner strength. You shouldn't feel humiliated, he is the one who should feel small for the way he has treated you.

(((((((((((((((((((((cuddles)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

and there are plenty more of those waiting for you, either from me, you know where to find me, or in the chat room, we give cuddles for free xxxxx

xx Sarah xx

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