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Taking my wedding ring off

  • jay9376
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10 Jun 08 #25605 by jay9376
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Hi there...

I had an experience of this... I kept my wedding ring ON.. as I went throught the "should i" "have I made the right choice" phase as most of us do...probably after 2 weeks of her leaving..

then it soon came off after she started to pass her 18k debt onto you. and never looked back.

Even though I should have taken it off the day she left..we sometime live in hope.. but looking back. I should have taken it off the day she left...

Your call.... no right or wrong way i think...

Good luck

  • Young again
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10 Jun 08 #25607 by Young again
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Hi All,

Like Mike I left mine on as I felt (for some unknown reason)that it would be appropriate to remove it on the day the absolute was granted (still flipping waiting!).

However, someone pointed out to me that while I was saying the above, I was also saying that the absolute was a piece of paper that held no significance for me.

I reflected for a moment and then took it off, checked its worth as a piece of scrap gold (£15) and when I remember will nip down to Hatton Garden to sell it, unless someone has a better idea?

YA

  • rubytuesday
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10 Jun 08 #25609 by rubytuesday
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Hi Whatnow

I took mine off when he left - the marriage was finally over for us, and I saw no point in keeping up the pretence.
Its a personal choice, I believe, and one that each person should make on thier own,.
As to wearing another one, well, thats a whole different question!

Ruby

  • Ninjas have more fun!
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10 Jun 08 #25610 by Ninjas have more fun!
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I have kept both my wedding and engagement rings on since my stbx left 7 months ago. I wondered whether to take them off but felt I was still married and that they had meant something to me. Also like Crusade tend to fiddle with them whilst thinking - and as you will all appreciate a lot of that goes on! My children also asked me to keep them on so they don't get asked questions like "why isn't your mum wearing a ring" etc. I was doing some job the other day and took off my engagement ring, although of the two it is my favourite as I chose it, but I had got to the point of thinkig should Istill be wearing this. Afterall he took his off the minute he bug gered off! So now I just have the band. Not sure how I feel about removing this. Perhaps I will wait till the absolute then take it off as a grand gesture then wear something else in its place.

:S

  • fredsmith22
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10 Jun 08 #25622 by fredsmith22
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My ex, had her wedding ring made, it was a complex design and it cost me a fortune, when her weight fluctuated, she decided it was too small, and she wore a cheap ring that she picked up from next, until she lost that and then gave up on the ring thing.

The ring that I wore, was put on my finger the day we got married, I took it off when it made sense to do so, manual labour and stuff like that! But other than that it stayed were it was supposed to be. A year later the mark where it once was has pretty much disappeared.

The day I left the MH I took the ring off and left in on bed side table on the side that I used the sleep. It was a symbolic gesture; I received a call from her in tears about two hours later when she found it. She called me all the names under the sun and I said that I had left it there by accident, this was a lie!

We had agreed to split about 6 weeks prior, and I kept the ring on, not sure why, it just felt right to leave it in the way that I did, and not admitting it was just another in a string of white lies that I told, so I didn’t have to have the hard conversation that I probably should have had with ex when we were together.

Anyway, you asked so I have told you, this is how I took my ring off, it meant something to me, both wearing it and how it was left behind.

Do what you think is right, if you don’t want to let go to it, what it meant to you then don’t, it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with your ex or your feeling towards him, more do with what marriage means/meant to you!

Good luck

GM

  • joy
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10 Jun 08 #25623 by joy
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Hi All

It is amazing to read how differant we all are. I am afraid after 30 yrs having my husband cheat on me, going out of his way to lie and be devious! The ring was the first thing he had back, that very minute I found out. He gingerly took it. He left his on for some while, out of guilt? whilst he was with her? I had no problem. NOW i regret it. Why? well I should have asked for his back and sold them both. Would have topped my freezer up!
Thats the way I look at it. I stuck to my vowels every inch. That ring was no good from that day, the meaning had been wiped out! The annoying thing is, when he finally took his off, SHE probably topped her freezer up.

In short, do what makes you happy. Good Luck

Joy

  • Sun 13
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10 Jun 08 #25632 by Sun 13
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Mine came off the same day she told me she was having an affair and has stayed off ever since. I intend to sell it and to use the proceeds for the first post-divorce date I go on!

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