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For the new ones: survival in the first few weeks

  • josey123
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17 Jun 11 #273336 by josey123
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Hi there

I have just read your blog and thankyou for your advice and i am going through all the things you said you have read my story because you commented on it and told me to read this . I wanted to ask you did your ex ever contact you again only im at the stage where i just want to contact him again and its getting harder and harder everyday i have butterflies in my stomach i cry all the time and its horrid...I also keep hopeing he is going to contact me mad i know....

I just want to have some form of contact even as a freind but everytime i have emailed him and sent him letters in the past he ignores me so i just feel a fool all the time....

Anyway be good to hear from you

Josey

  • Shoegirl
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17 Jun 11 #273342 by Shoegirl
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There is a longer answer than I am about to post in my blog. The three months after no contact is documented fully in my blog months three to six. They are all labelled by month.

In short yes he did contact me again and sent me a letter too. No contact is hard one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. But for my emotional healing it paid back in spades. Read a book called it is a break up because it is broken. It is aimed at a younger twenty something audience but the info it gives on no contact and why is very inspiring.

Do no contact for you and your own healing. Nothing he says or does will help you now. Sorry I know it's hard but keep posting here

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17 Jun 11 #273351 by RoseQ
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Hi Josey (and Sair) - I would totally agree with what Sair has said - I followed her advice (and got the book which is excellent)6 months ago. It was so hard. I did a chart with 60 days and each day of no contact I ticked it off. I think to begin with I was counting down the days until I could contact him again. In fact at about day 40 he contacted me, and by this time I was strong enough to deal with his request practically and fairly unemotionally. I really would recommend this - it saved me and was I think the core thing that helped me to begin to move on with my healing. I aslo wrote on my chart when I did contact OTHER people so was able to see a blossoming list of friends and social contacts/events. I hope you are able to stay strong, it is so very hard but it really is better than the emotional rollercoaster you may have been on. Sending you lots of hugs
Rose

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17 Jun 11 #273378 by josey123
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Hi Rose thankyou for the advice my ex has not contacted me in 2 months and im getting so frustrated as time goes by just to have one text or email from him would make me ecstatic but i wont text him not yet anyway im trying to give it more time !! what was the name of the book you bought??

Did you ever get back with your ex ?? how much time apart??

Cheers josey

  • Jane996
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18 Jun 11 #273603 by Jane996
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Sair

You have made me feel better already. I am new to Wikivorce but I recognise everything you wrote about your separation from why my ex left to how I am feeling right now.
I have ordered one of the books and look forward to reading it.
Thanks

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18 Jun 11 #273604 by Mitchum
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Hello Jane and welcome to wiki.

I'm so glad you found comfort in Sair's blog. So many people have drawn strength from her words, as you've read in this thread.

Her posts and blogs are testimony to just how courageous Sair has been and we can only be thankful that she's prepared to share the pain and trials she's been through during the first months of divorce.

Stay with us and let us help you through whatever happens next.

Best wishes

Mitchum xx

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27 Sep 11 #289655 by killbill
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Thank you so much for this post Sair...All the things you mention are what I am going through( and just that feeling that I am such an inconvenience to him)...Do you actually have a link to your blog?( Or is it all in the post here?)
I'm on week six at the moment in all this mess...

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