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For the new ones: survival in the first few weeks

  • Mitchum
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27 Sep 11 #289665 by Mitchum
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Hello and welcome to wiki
I'm rushing to get out but didn't want to just read your post and leave without leaving a message for you.

As you've already seen, Wiki is a very supportive community. Sair and many others have posted their deepest feelings of hurt and despair to help themselves to get through the pain but of course, in the process help so many others to make sense of it all. Friends you didn't know you had will help you through the coming weeks and months.

When you need advice, start another thread and double check everything here before making any moves.

Best wishes

Mitchum

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27 Sep 11 #289686 by pixy
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Welcome. Horrible place to have to be but immensely useful as well as supportive. As Mitchum says, start a thread of your own as and when you need to. In the meantime think about blogging yourself or popping into chat for virtual tea and sympathy.

  • killbill
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27 Sep 11 #289786 by killbill
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Thank you Mitchum and Pixy...I have started a thread in the Introductions section...

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27 Sep 11 #289807 by Shoegirl
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Hi there. I am glad you found the post useful, it is all the advice that I was given and the support here has been tremendous.

If you click on my profile name, it will take you through to my profile and my blogs are all listed there.

I have been where you are, most of us have here and I know how much it hurts. Keep posting, it helps.

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28 Sep 11 #289862 by killbill
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Thanks Sair...I'll go and take a look...
It's a lovely day here today...warm and sunny...but in the mornings I tend to feel down...I hate these emotions( but realise you just have to go with them)...It also really hit me hard last night, that what you said is also true, they don't even think about what you are going through or how bad you are feeling, and now you are nothing to them. They are happy with their new partners, and don't give you a second thought...This hurt a lot too....

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28 Sep 11 #289924 by Shamee
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Sian, have read your blog & almost all of what you've written is applying to me at this moment. The way i feel after 5wks hasn't changed for me at all yet. I'm a male aged 54yrs & have been married for 34yrs. Finding it really difficult with leaving memories behind me of all the good times we had together with our children. My wife left after giving me excuses for differing reasons over our married life. None of which where marital affairs i hasten to add, just the normal ups & downs that life & work issues throw up. I carried a monkey on my back for 2wks feeling guilty to extremities of her unhappiness in our marriage. I tried wrote a plan of 'What i can do' to address her grieviences/concerns, after which she finally came clean to seeing someone else. I'm convinced she had planned to take the course she has. Yours J Coffee

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28 Sep 11 #289926 by Marshy_
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Hi Shamee. When I started reading yr post I thought straight away, someone else involved. As I got near the end I could see that you sussed it out.

If there is someone else involved, then there is nothing you can do about it. Yr just in the way now. Surplus to requirments. Not needed. Chucked away like an old pair of shoes.

Plenty of people find themselves on the scrap heap in there 50's. I am 56 now and this happened to me when I was 50. But I am OK. And so will you. But its only 5 weeks for you. Hang on in there. Things do get better. C.

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