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For the new ones: survival in the first few weeks

  • CaringParent
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27 Oct 12 #363177 by CaringParent
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Thanks for ur guidance, it does help.
GP told counselling is 3 months wait

She EX has shrugged all responsibility of the break up of 10 years marriage

She has broken it, I begged, I pleaded, I got hit and did not hit back, I loved her so.

My mistake was that I answered back in one of each 10 times I was verbally abused.

I do not understand why I love her so much
May be the love of early years
May be the fact that marriage is for a life time
I wanted to grow old with her
Get our kids married when the kids grow up

There were times that we both faced together as a young couple

OMG I miss her
Now her career is mre important to her then me

She is mother of my kids
We were supposed to be together for ever

Tears roll down my eyes as I pen

Hope she ever comes to know how much I love her
I am human, under immense pressure and suffering with domestic violence I broke and took steps so that she atteast does not separate kids from me,but I did not mean to in any way break our marriage which means the world to me.

Yes , I am in such pain in early mornings that it is difficult to pen, I barely eat, have lost lot of weight, eat only when. Cook for kids, with them so as to have family dinner, of the family that misses their mum.

Wis she cd come back
I am willing to write my equity in the house to her, all I need is a happy family life.

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27 Oct 12 #363184 by CaringParent
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It is tough

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27 Oct 12 #363186 by CaringParent
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Linden17 wrote:

It''s so sad isn''t it, how many people seem to be experiencing the same things. Sometimes, thinking about that can make you feel better, like you''re not alone, but it also makes you lose faith in humanity. Some, in fact most, of the things you have said here (a long time ago I notice!) really ring true for me and thank you for articulating them so well. In particular, the feeling that I can''t believe how my life has changed, and so quickly. Just over 3 months ago I thought I had the best relationship in the world. Even my stbx (does that mean ''soon to be ex''?) agreed that before he met his OW, that he was still deleriously happy with me after 19 years together, and it was a moment of weakness (or several) that he wishes he had been strong enough to conquer. But he says he can''t get over his feelings for this OW and so is throwing away ''the best thing that ever happened to him''. I''m beginning to suspect that he has said those things to me out of guilt and to soften the blow and I know that ''I can''t'' means ''I don''t want to''. It''s like when I found out about his affair and confronted him with it, he''d had his bag of sweets taken away and is now determined to go and enjoy them, whatever the cost.
I am trying to get on with my life but the more normal things I do,(like being at work), which sometimess make me momentarily forget my situation, the worse the crushing reality when you suddenly remember. I am so impatient to feel happiness again...I sometimes think I never will. It''s all so terrifying...

I am myself couple of months into this.
I was informed IT IS OVER


I do not matter
10 plus year did not matter

All mattered were her demands, many I fulfilled, one I could not

I too am stopping to call friends and family, it is just boredom for them, and why shd they suffer........

It is over she said.

Is this marriage? I thought marriage is for a life time
It pains
It hurts
I know she is emotionally inclined towards some one, if not involved

That b''rd is following her, despite the fact he has his own family, he has taken advantage of our bad times

Who is o blame
Does blame matter

What is reality is that today I and her are separate
She refuses to even tell me what she is doing or where she is, untilll couple of months back she used to make me account for every hour ....ten years plus...
I am hurting

god please help me.
Forgive my mistakes , as they were human, and bless me and all my lord.

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01 Dec 12 #368725 by Cinders2
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Hi Sair I know this post is old but I am ne of the new ones and just wanted to say thanks for the advice. It does make you feel less alone to know othersn have gone through the same.:):)

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01 Dec 12 #368757 by honeybeeee
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Hi Every body.

Been sitting here re reading EVEYTHING & crying.

My 2 dogs " bless their cotton socks" know some thing is wrong & keep trying to crawl all over me while I''m on computer, &&& they are 2 v. big border collies!!!!!

Some times I think that I am slowly coming to terms with what is happening, THEN wham I''m back 2 square 1...

Today for instance nipped to Asdas, every where I looked there were COUPLES, just doing the boring weekly shop, BUT they were together. I was on my lonesome..

I never thought I could ever have such strong emotions...

Thought I loved the man....
How could he do this to me?????

What he wrote on the divorce petition!!!!

Now the stupid thing is, I am doing what I do BEST & burying my head in sand....

I have agreed on the Financial Settlement he drew up.
My Sol. nearly fell off her chair....
His Sol. told him that he was being far to generous, so he amended downwards slightly....

I have agreed not to touch his v.v.v. generous Military Pension for a larger share in Equity of house.

I am supposed to have signed a Disclaimer to cover my Sol.s back BUT have not yet done it.....

She is now emailing & phoning me to insist I get a move on.....

Why I''m holding back I don''t know......

Since Stbx knew I''d been to sigb Divorce Petion he has been fairly pleasant!!!!!!

As we still have to live under same roof tog. til house is sold, I''d sooner have him being just about bearable to live with...

& the ugly Monster will return with a vengence!!!!!!!

Well, I''ve actually stopped crying.... for the moment any way.

I''m sending virtual HUGS to every one & I am going to give myself a huge big hug as well....

Now going to read my PMs & no doubt start the bubbling afresh!!!!!!


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01 Dec 12 #368772 by Cinders2
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Chin up there are many. Of us here in the same boat you are not, totally alone huGs

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27 Dec 12 #371635 by sadbear
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I am sitting here in tears recognising part of me in this, 4/5 weeks into separation my wife having told me she does not want to be married any more.

Yes I keep hoping she will walk back through the doors and it will be back to where it was but a small part of me tells me this will not happen.

Right now I cannot see any way forward and just want to go away and hide, as the pain if all this is almost unendurable.

I can see from this and others that there is a future but right now feel so alone! I literally have no-one to talk to to, no-one too tell how I feel, and am at the stage of wondering what is the point of it all.

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