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loss of appetite / cant face word

  • iamcthulu
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17 Jun 08 #26728 by iamcthulu
Topic started by iamcthulu
divorce been on cards now for a while.
all this time ive rarely eaten (one meal every 2 or 3 days),
hardly been able to face the world (helps if i drink the night before), not to mention a few *darker* thoughts.
today is one of my average days, laid in bed no tears (ran out o them long ago) till about 8pm then ate (first time since saturday(2 days ago)) i know i need help, serious help, ive never been diagnosed with any mental illnesses, and last time i mentioned this to my GP he told me to eat :S

any one been in this boad or got any good advise ill appreciate it, will check back on next ok day


  • TMax
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17 Jun 08 #26731 by TMax
Reply from TMax

Ok what your going thru is no different to what the rest of us have and are going thru, a few of us have got over this stage of not knowing what to do from one day to the next but we can all tell you for certain that drinking isn’t going to help what so ever, it picks you up in the beginning, but in the silent hours it drags you down even deeper and that is the stage that you begin to get depressed and have other thoughts of how you can stop the pain your feeling.

We can’t promise you a fix to get out of the feeling you have, that will only come slowly day by day, then one day you wake and you know you’re over the worse part and next you know you ready to move on. This doesn’t mean to a new partner, it doesn’t mean you’re over it… but you’ll know you are more than able to handle what you have left in life and make it grown to how you want it.

Come into chat anytime some one will always be ready to give you as much help as they can if they cant give you help they will tell others who will, we are a good little community here, a little nuts at times and mostly always ready for a laugh.

So come along this is part of your new beginning ask away and we will all endeavour to help you how we can.


  • Dorsetphoenix
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17 Jun 08 #26732 by Dorsetphoenix
Reply from Dorsetphoenix

Sounds like you are just starting the journey and things are still very raw for you. You need to be gentle with yourself - this is a day by day thing.

Your docs right about the food, I lost almost 3 stone when my x left, the only time I will ever be (or want to be) a size zero! I do know that eating is easier said than done, you feel sick, there's that washing machine going around in your stomach. Maybe your doc could prescribe you something for that?

Probably more important than food is sleep. I never managed to get very much due to a v young child who did not sleep well. I remember my Dad after my Mum left him, fell asleep in the chair for a whole day and night, he was still like it the next morning, we thought he was dead, called the doc who said that he was exhausted and needed the sleep, just to leave him. He woke when he was ready.

When my STBX left I remember blaming myself for things that were beyond my control, and I was rather hard on myself. Try not to be. You are a good person. This will take time. It's a grieving process, but it is a process, you won't feel like this forever. If someone close to you had died, you would need compassion and time, this situation is no different.

My advice would be forget the drink - it only makes you miserable. Go see your doc again, tell him about your darker thoughts, you really do need some help. I managed to get counselling through the NHS to help me, I was referred by my surgery nurse.

Try and keep on track, you owe it to yourself to get up every day, wash or shower, shave, (even though you might not feel like it) and go to work. A routine is good, as is excercise. If you really can't face work, then the doc should help you out with that too, maybe he could sign you off for a while.

You will get through this, there are lots of lovely people on this site who have posted allsorts of supportive messages to each other.

Take care

  • iamcthulu
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17 Jun 08 #26736 by iamcthulu
Reply from iamcthulu
proberly worth me pointing out that i know my feeling this way will subside, my work was my STBX as i was her carer, i do have volunteer work aswell and theyre supportive of me.
i think the main reason i put this message out there - help wise - is to see what mechanisms have helped others and may help me.
i appreciate the help so far and intend to go to GP tommorow but i know that living in wales it'll be a while for anything to get anywhere, sa NHS and mental support is slow here. usually by the time it comes the crisis is over either by suicide (as in some cases- think about ti but know i wouldnt) or jus too late the times when people here need help the most they cant get it.

  • Daisy049
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17 Jun 08 #26742 by Daisy049
Reply from Daisy049
hi iam...

completely understand what your going through...

i rarely ate to begin with, and have lost so much weight, didnt want to eat - couldnt face eating..

a friend told me that if i wasnt eating properly then to at least have a glass of milk a day as it lines the stomach and will prevent acid etc etc....there's a couple of nurses on this site so maybe they will offer some advice..

however if you can be bothered to cook and thats my prob even now after 4 mths, it doesnt seem worth it somehow,(sine he left on the 6th april ive used to oven twice !) at least try and have cereals maybe ? or fruit...

not eating isnt a good thing and im sure you know this, not sure if your at work but maybe if you can have something to eat at lunch time ?

you do have to eat something, at least to keep your strength up.....i know its hard hun, but if you dont you will become ill.....as with everything that your going through baby steps and small meals....even if its once a day....you will get through this period of not eating it just takes time thats all..

good luck..


  • jelly4toes
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17 Jun 08 #26746 by jelly4toes
Reply from jelly4toes
i had a brief spell of this at the beginning my personality takes me to the opposite end of the scale if there was a dead cow in the road i would take it home and make it into a sandwich!more to the point i have driven round various supermarkets filling the boot with chocolate.Take the choc of me and i would have got a submachine gun and shot the offender.

I would suggest you take a multivitamin and multimineral and buy some slim fast or nourishment energy drink thingies.you don't have to think about it ie food and you will be getting the vitamine etc an iron tablet wouldn't go a miss either.you need to preserve and obtain your energy supplies from somewhere.This is a short term measure i don't advocate this approach for ever.
I think you need to tell the gp you need some anti depressents and tell him you need counselling asap be direct do not waffle or give the gp any rope to dismiss your needs.when we feel like crap we feel guilty for asking for help it may be the gp hasn't picked up on how crap you feel.and then keep popping in here.

  • peterc
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17 Jun 08 #26755 by peterc
Reply from peterc
hey cthulu (hp lovecraft fan??) - take care of yourself- ive been there - trust me it gets better ... but you need time - time to grieve your loss, time to re-establish yourself.

goto your doctor and ask them to refer you to a councillor - its a painful process but it helps

focus on yourself - try and find something to occupy your mind.

it helped me to go on a proper diet - forcing myself to eat properly to a carefully planned diet. i also goto the gym a lot - it has helped me to loose weight and feel better for me.

take care - im sitting in a cafe in birmingham - tears in my eyes at your sorrow - it does get better though!

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