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coping mechanisms

  • iamcthulu
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17 Jun 08 #26828 by iamcthulu
Topic started by iamcthulu
not seen any posts like this still active so thought it might be an idea to share things that halped us cope.

after days of not eating and serious depression i had a mini brainwave namely not to think of having to adapt "to life without (insert name of stbx here)" but to adjust "to life"
takes the concentration away from what is gone/going and made it slightly easier but easier none the less to cope

be interesting to see what others post

  • jelly4toes
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17 Jun 08 #26879 by jelly4toes
Reply from jelly4toes
big and i mean big fat bars of cadburys dairy milk chocolat
keep saying to oneself this too shall pass when the blackes moments descend.I have started thinking like a buddist monk everything in life is changing nothing is permanent this helps to.

  • phoenix1
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17 Jun 08 #26892 by phoenix1
Reply from phoenix1
wiki is a great one!! Would also add,

look around you, there are always people worse off and take strength and courage from them.

Look to the future and set yourself small goals, and focus on them.

Stay positive and enjoy the small things that life has to offer

  • Daisy049
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17 Jun 08 #26957 by Daisy049
Reply from Daisy049
hi iam

coping mechanisms, good subject !

to begin with for me it was drink...and i mean alcohol......seriously wrong and that stopped quite quickly....needless to say that wasnt a coping mechanism..but a way to forget...

i didnt cope at all well at the beginning and i dont think many people do....truthfully i think its time....

everyone said to me from wiki and friends and family time will help and time will make things get easier...

to help myself what did i do ? i cleaned, constantly, top to bottom, not a spec of dust in my home.....oh and gardening....anything energetic i guess, things that made me physically exhausted so that when i went to bed i slept.....

not sure if this will help but its how i dealt with the early days...

now i just get through each day good or bad....if i have a good day well then congrats to me, if i have a bad day accept it, let the emotions come as they will, someone said to me the other day, you cant be strong all the time, he was so right !!

take care


  • iamcthulu
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25 Jun 08 #28795 by iamcthulu
Reply from iamcthulu
think it'd be helpful to people to keep this up and running so today to help me cope i will be...
venting my anger through computergames and action films (Kill Bill 1&2 tonight :Drevenge on those who wronged me)

  • judes
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25 Jun 08 #28797 by judes
Reply from judes
I bleached everything in sight and then again! I think i might buy shares in a bleach company i have used so much.

I also set small goals and took each day as it came, if I have a bad day then tomorrow will be better

  • wazo
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25 Jun 08 #28812 by wazo
Reply from wazo
good topic starter. Well, not that I feel I will contribute that well in a positive manner but if I read between the lines I am, I feel, not doing bad??. My negative input is not intentional - just fact. Thought tonight, no I will have a proper meal... I had some lamb chops that needed to be eaten (yesterday) but they looked ok. So thought yeah cook them. Not in the slightest bit hungry .. should be as not eaten properly for a week - steal a bit of cheese here for the sake of it and and lots of coffee. put them in the pan, stared at them for a bit - thought what shall i have with them - bit of morrocan couscous (got to start thinking of emptying the overflowing cupboards) and some veg - bit of a tangine theory must have been in the creative mind... or just first thing that came to hand. Eventually stuck it on a plate, sat down and bingo - my positive efforts quickly spun round to a realisation of eating my tea on a regular basis on my own - burst into tears. Hiddeous, but I suppose something I have to overcome (is that positive?) Tried to eat it and I could have choked, but I persivered and ate it. So here is to a positive, getting over the hurdle of independance... thats the positive spin im going to put on it. Might put me off cooking for a while but hopefully not forever. Onwards sideways perhaps but hopefully not downwards. Here's to hope.

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