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Life just couldnt get any better !!!!! not

  • Daisy049
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25 Jun 08 #28603 by Daisy049
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was woken up at 3.40am....by mum, in tears, my grandma has been rushed to hospital, she collapsed....whilst my grandad was out...he found her when he got back home....shes just been tested for colan cancer last week and now this...

havent slept since the phone call....feel like crap...so worried about her....not sure she is going to make it....she's more or less given up on life anyway and has done for some time, shes also got the onset of dementia....i wouldnt be surprised if she didnt come out of hospital...

do i ring my ex ??? i so badly want to, i know ive been saying it for days, but he knew her too you know...what would he think if i didnt tell him.....i cant cope with this on my own...i dont know what to do....the last time she was in hosp, 5 years ago, it was touch and go, and he was here, and now he's not....

i know ive got family, but they have each other and i feel so alone in all this....i keep trying to make excuses for telling him, he has a right to know doesnt he ??? well no he doesnt really, he gave up all his rights to anything in my life 4 mths ago....but when something like this happens its different isnt it...

what do i do ???? im so confused....mum says no dont phone him....but theres still an emotional tie there...

daisy
xxx

  • Ephelia
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25 Jun 08 #28605 by Ephelia
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Don't phone Daisy.... this must be so difficult for you and I know you must want comfort but this is not the place to get it... be strong. Not fair that you have to be strong again but you've shown you can do it... hugs to you.

  • mike62
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25 Jun 08 #28610 by mike62
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Daisy,
I can fully understand that you want to phone him. He was your life partner. But he has made his decision that he does not want to be in your life. Yes, he would possibly be sympathetic and supportive, but any interaction with him over this situation would simply prolong the agony for you once this crisis has passed.

Sorry Daisy, hard as it is, you need to tough it out with your friends and family on this one.

Thinking of you

Mike

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25 Jun 08 #28616 by fredsmith22
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Hi Daisy,

Sorry to hear your news, I noticed that you were in the chat room, but I cant seem to get access to it at work, planned to try and give you some support!

If you need to tell you ex that grandma is not well, because he knows her too, then that is what you should do I I think. Just dont confuse that with asking him for emotional support from him, as I dont think that will be a good move.

The horrible truth is that when you seperate, you seperate, and that is from the good stuff as well as the bad. Friends and family is where I would turn, to turn back to my ex, would be too confussing?

Best wishes

GM

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25 Jun 08 #28638 by Daisy049
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thanks guys for your words...i know your all right in what you say..

i think i will leave it until i know more about her and her health...

if the worst comes to the worst then I will have to tell him but for now no i wont...

thanks again guys
Daisy
xxx

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25 Jun 08 #28648 by jelly4toes
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don't contact him daisy you will undo your good work and slip backwards.we are here.

  • Tinny
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25 Jun 08 #28654 by Tinny
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Daisy
Keep your chin up and do what is best for you.

I had a similar problem a few months back but had to tell Ex so he could protect the children. For a few days he was very helpful and even gave me a hug (very strange experience). Then suddenly he changed back and actually became even more difficult to deal with. The point I’m making is I became totally confused and wrong footed because I had got used to us as a divorced couple, that changed albeit for a few days when he was nicer, then he changed back and I had to get used to an even more difficult Ex.

Take any support you need from family and friends and look after yourself.

Take care
Tinny xxx

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