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Is it me?

  • PricklyRobin
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07 Sep 11 #286699 by PricklyRobin
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Hi Popoliv

Acceptance is not the same as forgiveness. I personally will never forgive my ex for all the pain he's caused, but I am moving on. Acceptance for me seems more like complete indifference and that is what I am striving for.

I would very much question whether your ex is having a great time. Rubbing your nose in what a 'great time' she is having sounds pretty desperate to me. But again, that should be a matter of complete indifference too.

And try not to respond to the email either. She's protesting too much. I agree with the idea she is seeking attention, so ignore her, if you possibly can.

When the time is right, you will meet someone significant, until that happens, keep positive, get out and about.

Carry on being a great dad, no one can replace you in that.

All the best, mm

  • startagain
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07 Sep 11 #286758 by startagain
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Yes what others have said is bang on good stuff from Marshy. But also Pete's you must be firm too in you outlook on the situation

Her actions are indeed desperate and sad.

Yes I know how if feels some bloke replace you in your house. it is a harsh place to be.

So do not get sucked in, freeze her out focus on your girls, aim to have them half the time continue to create a "second home" at your.

You do not need to discuss chit chat stuff with her just facts about pickup drop offs.

Yep you do not have to meet him or any future BFs, also do not bother about seeing him as a decent fella you do not know him keep your opinion neutral.

Meeting someone else we all feel meeting a new person will help, but marshy is right, you need to be totally healed for this to happen and as this upsets you this means you are not healed - this will happen when you find you don't care what she does.

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08 Sep 11 #286820 by Paul.
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Its all part of it Im afraid.
She wants you to accept this new guy, to make her feel less guilty.
Don't.

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08 Sep 11 #286872 by stepper
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My son was gutted when his marriage fell apart. However, two years down the line he has said that he is glad that it happened. When he was with his ex. he was overweight, depressed and had no self esteem. She belittled him constantly to friends and neighbours. He knows now that he stuck it out for far too long because of his two children. He would have done anything to have kept things together because of the boys but it wasn't to be.

It took him a while but he has made a new start and he feels good about himself. He realises now that he is on his own, how deeply depressed he was when he was in a bad marriage.

  • Bunnygirl
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08 Sep 11 #286874 by Bunnygirl
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Hi, good luck with settling down in your new place. Try to focus on the fact that this is clearly somewhere your girls feel happy and secure and make your time together as enjoyable as you can.
Ex's behaviour is crass and insensitive . try not to get riled . Concentrate on your girls and on building up your life.
Good luck,
Bx

  • mightyredmen
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25 May 14 #434688 by mightyredmen
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Could be that he loses that job that he has been hanging onto by his fingertips or that he has loads of debts that Mrs Popolive dont know about. Money goes out the door and love flys out the window.

Wow Marshy just found this old post and thought how spot on you were. Found out from her ex bessie mate that he never had a job when they met and hadnt worked for 27 years!. Apparently she almost through her entire settlement. Was paying for everything throughout dating period. He now has his eyes on her grandmothers house!

Ok Ex Mrs R is still with Mark and getting married to him. Not bothered at all. Thats what two years on does folks.

She still doesnt speak to me and have not still met him! In fact had one of those Im so happy texts the other day and " why dont you get a gf". Saw her last week sitting round corner from my falt waiting for my youngest girl so asked her if she wanted tio wait inside mine. No was the flat answer..I just smile and walked away....

So 2 years on from this post and I can honestly say I couldnt care less what she does.

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