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hi all letting off a bit of steam

  • shelly1066
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03 Jul 08 #30557 by shelly1066
Topic started by shelly1066
hi there my husband left me and 2 children on boxing day morning he kept saying his heart didn't belong here he was in contact with an old school friend/girlfriend and i felt he wanted to go back to where he spent a few early years of his life,i asked him 3 days before he left if he still loved me and if he was still in love with me he said yes straight away,so i didn't think he'd leave us,i got a call from a confused friend whilst in work on boxing day morning saying he rang and said could she be there for me when i got home i knew he'd gone he left a note saying his heart didnt belong here and that he loved us all,the worst thing was he went 400 miles to be with this woman and her 2 kids i was soo confused he still says it's true what he said,i couldn't and still can't understand why he said he was still in love with me when he left,i lost 1 stone and was depressed i cudn't even smile at my god daughter even though i tried he will be seeing his kids this month for the first timme in 7 months for 1 day then he's going to see my daughter in 3 months for 1 day on her birthday,how upsetting i have got through the worst of the depression we have contact even though it's normally through upset i nearly took my own life through the early stages but it was my kids that kept me here and a couple of friends,yes i hit rock bottom and wouldn't want to go there again but trying to be friends with him a bit but she put the dampeners on phone contact it's just txts it is possible to pick yourself up but extremely hard each day gets better but the love doesn't just go away and the tears still flow from me but not as often i still work and that has helped along with support of friends and colleagues,i don't think i'll find someone as loving as him again we were together for 17 years and were soul mates we only ever argued once every 6 months if that and to lose that to another woman was devastating life is hard but anyone going through the early motions i would like to say a light does shine as time goes on

  • Daisy049
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04 Jul 08 #30707 by Daisy049
Reply from Daisy049
hi shelly

my heart goes out to you hun...

thank god for the kids eh !!

its a long old road this recovery business and we all get ups and downs but as long as you keep letting off steam thats the main thing...

i dont know if anyone knows why our hubby's / wives do what they do - they lie, they cheat, they're not there for you when they say they will be...its a mystery to me....

so you know what...you've got to start taking care of you, as your the most important thing right now..ok so your children are i should imagine but without you ? hhhmmmm think about it..

it will be better - i promise you that but it will take time...each day something good will happen however small...

you take it easy...


  • joy
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04 Jul 08 #30719 by joy
Reply from joy
Hi Shelly, Hi Daisy,

Same old story, and sadly it will go on and on and on. But we are all getting there, and we all go through the same. But i have found although i would have done anything for him, that feeling of love i had soon changed when i realised what he had put me through.

And Shelly regarding the weight loss, I wouldnt change my wardrobe for one single minute in his company.Lol...

Keep going the way you are. Joy xxx

  • dawn1
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04 Jul 08 #30722 by dawn1
Reply from dawn1
Hi Shelley,

Most men dont have the courage to tell you they have found someone else, they also want to make sure that they keep their options open in case it all goes wrong.

Cynical of me I know, but oh so true.

You have to start believing in yourself and your own self worth as it has taken quite a knock.

Life as you know does get better, keep posting and blogging as this does help and come onto chat to talk to the rest of us loony tunes who are going along this sometimes impossible road of divorce.

kindest thoughts

dawn xx

  • shelly1066
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05 Jul 08 #30913 by shelly1066
Reply from shelly1066
hi dawn,joy and daisy thank you soo much for your thoughts they're appreciated greatly i know i'm not the only one in this scenario and i will come on here a bit more things are hard at this month because he's coming down to see his kids.dawn you are not the first person to say about him keeping his options open to me and how much i believe it anyway tc all speak soon

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