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Depression or just plain sad???

  • lyndamac
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05 Jul 08 #30934 by lyndamac
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i thought I could reply to this , you just get over it believe me.

  • rubytuesday
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05 Jul 08 #30935 by rubytuesday
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HI heavyheart

Firstly, you are not alone, you have the support and help of everyone here on wiki - we will do all that we can for you, and wont get "bored" of listening to you.

Go and see your GP, if you havent already done so, they are there to help, and will advise which is the best course of treatment for you, should you need some, and I dont mean just medication, there is a variety of help on offer.

Sadly, you will never find solace at the bottom of a wine bottle, and the wine will be making you feel worse not better as alcohol itself is a depressant.

As for how long it take to recover and start building our lives, we are all different and deal with sitautions and emotions differently, so each person's recovery time is different, but you will recover in time and by looking after yourself. It may seem like that is far away just now, but please hang on to the fact that so many others have been where you are, and come through to the other side - something which gave me so much hope and strength.

When you are feeling like some company, please pop into the chatroom, you will be made very welcome.

take care, and keep posting.

Ruby xx

  • Marshy_
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05 Jul 08 #30937 by Marshy_
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Hi HH. Depression has classic symptoms. They include: not caring if you live or die. Not having any interest in normal life or activities like watching yr fave soap or watching a film. Lack of sleep. Single track thinking.

Anxiety is also a major factor. Some people experiance feeling alert all the time. Heart racing, panic attacks and so on.

All of these symptoms are the result of marrage breakup and or seperation. Its normal to feel some or all of these things.

Going to see your doctor is a good idea. Some people need help with sleep and the doctor can prescribe you with short term sleeping tablets. In extreme cases you could be prescribed tranqaulisers which may help with anxiety.

The answer is not in a bottle I have looked so dont bother going there. Tranqs can make you worse. Plus you are adding to your problems later on.

Conseling does work and it can be effective if you have some kind of problem that you need to get past. But it doesnt work in all cases.

The most effective treatment is good old time. Nost people have a shabby time of it for a while and graduly the above symptoms subside. I am recieving counseling now for my particular problems. But I have sought help 2.5 years after the start of things and I need focused help on certain issues I have. But thats me.

Most people dont know how to conduct a divorce properly. There is no life training for it. Its like being told you are going to mars tomorow. But you increase your ability to cope and make the right decisions if you deal with it properly and to do that you have to eat and sleep well. So concentrate on eating 5 star good quality food and try and get enough restfull sleep. That way you should be alright. Well as alright as you can be. Laters C

  • hanna
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05 Jul 08 #30948 by hanna
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Heavy Heart, Sweetheart, we all need a hug I think?
I've read some of the advice from others in pain too, and it's true, alcohol isn't the way ahead. I'm 5 weeks down the line from discovering affair by husband of 25 years,and feel as though the guts have been ripped out of me. I've gone to a counsellor through an employee work scheme, which allows other family members to go too, I've encouraged my teenagers to contact too, as they are hurting so much with the lies their dad's telling us all. I think the doc and the antidepressants are all very personal, but think you should take the docs advice on them. change to someone you feel happier to talk to if you can. I think though that everyone agrees that time is the only thing we can rely on to ease the pain. I've not known an ache like this since my dad died so I can entirely empathise with you. Unfortunately, there are going to be lots of bad days ahead, sprinkled hopefully liberally with better/good/strong days which will give us all the ability to stay strong for ourselves and our kids and make new and better lives for ourselves. We owe that much to ourselves, we deserve it. take care, HX

  • heavyheart
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05 Jul 08 #30982 by heavyheart
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Hi all
Thanks for all the words of wisdom. Will make an appointment to go and discuss things with the Dr next week.
Have had a fairly good day today, pottering around the house and garden. Doing lots but not sure I have got anywhere. Have had my mind taken off things today as going to my niece's Graduation next week and have been trying to decide what to wear. Am trying to be positive as this is far from my comfort zone as don't normally travel far from home, but she will only graduate once and I feel honoured she has asked me to go.
And don't worry about the alcohol, I only have a drink on a Friday or Saturday and no more than 1 bottle of wine.
Did have 2 once when my hubby kissed me on the cheek at 8pm on new years wished me happy new year and walked out the door. Had one hell of a hangover!!!! never again.

Take Care
(off to clean the bathroom, I know how to have fun on a Saturday night)

HH xxxxx

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