Aggggghhhhhh

I need to scream

AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH

Once again because of lack of communication there is a misunderstanding about contact this weekend. I am so fed up with my ex and his OW. Because he refuses to have any communication with me and either speaks through our son (who has had enough now) or OW speaks for him, the arrangements for this weekend are a mess.

So I politely emailed ex''s work email address and OW replies, blaming me for misunderstanding. I replied (again to ex) so I await the response!!!

What can I do??
I have tried to explain to our son that I am putting up with this no longer, and in order to sort this it may mean things will get worse for a while. I do not want to stop my son from seeing his dad, far from it, I have a battle on getting ex to tear himself away from his selfish new lifestyle to spend time with his son!!

Once again, AAAAGGGGHHHHH

Hi Perin. I understand your intentions and I understand that what you are doing is best for yr son. But you are running where angels fear to tread and taking ownership of something that you can never own. What I mean by this is this:

Yr ex has a relationship with his son. You are not part of that. He owns that and he must manage that. If he fails, he fails. Its not yr responsibility to ensure that it works.

All your job entails is that you allow yr son to go to his father when he is supposed to go. That may mean that he has suitable clothing or what ever and you have him ready at the appointed time and be there at the appointed time for delivery. That is all sister.

Sorry if this sounds harsh. And I am sorry if I have upset you. But there really is no other way of putting it. If you try and force someones hand, they will always push back. Let his father manage his own relationship with his son. Try and stay out of it and you wont feel so frustrated when it all goes Pete Tong. C.

Screaming is good! I can also recommend stamping on a plastic bag containing digestive biscuits, which once crushed can be used to make a chreesecake!

But, in all seriousness, as much as you try to get your ex to organise contact appropriately, if he doesn''t see the need to, or gets his partner to do it (why?), then all you can do is mop up the aftermath. I''m guessing you''ve tried the usual stuff, letter writing etc., and it still hasn''t sunk in? The trouble is, the more he tries to organise contact in such a dysfunctional way, the more it frustrates you, and it could be that he and his partner enjoy this.

I think your best bet would be to try and explain to your child that you have tried to ask dad to organise things properly and you can do no more than that. As Marshy says, if it goes wrong then that''s his fathers lookout.