A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Difficult week ahead

  • livinginhope
  • livinginhope's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
25 Mar 12 #319999 by livinginhope
Topic started by livinginhope
This coming week is going to be emotionally very difficult.My STBX will be leaving marital home to go into a rented flat.He made the decision suddenly and I am surprised he is actually going.I thought he would wait for house to go on the market to avoid paying rent.

It should be much easier not having to be in the house house but I still feel upset by the realisation our marriage is definitely over.I also feel slightly envious that he can just walk away and leave me to handle the sale of the house whilst he gets on with his new life.He is moving into a luxury Apartment in an upmarket area and is buying all new furniture for it.

I should be celebrating but feel sad and flat.

  • blonde cazza
  • blonde cazza's Avatar
  • User is blocked
  • User is blocked
More
25 Mar 12 #320006 by blonde cazza
Reply from blonde cazza
I had that too my stbx walked away to go and live with his parents and i had to deal with the house sale.Stay strong you can do it! xx

  • Gloriasurvive
  • Gloriasurvive's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
25 Mar 12 #320009 by Gloriasurvive
Reply from Gloriasurvive
My STBX walked away to go and live with a very, very wealthy business woman who has an amazing home and all the trappings! It sucks!
The state of our house is dreadful, he was a builder and never did work on our house! irony! I am left to sort it without a bean.
But this isn''t about me......

You will feel strange at first having him not there, but it is the only way forward and will be better for you in the long run.
You may even feel a little relieved as the build up to him going may be actually worse tan the reality!
If not... Make sure you have some activities or treats organised for the week ahead, have some friends round for coffee? Keep yourself positive and focussed on the new you!

You have all your wikifriends here for you!

We will be thinking of you ((( hugs )))

  • leftwondering
  • leftwondering's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
25 Mar 12 #320013 by leftwondering
Reply from leftwondering

but I still feel upset by the realisation our marriage is definitely over.


Did you have hopes for a last minute change of heart...or is it mainly just the emotional impact of the event?

I also feel slightly envious that he can just walk away and leave me to handle the sale of the house whilst he gets on with his new life.He is moving into a luxury Apartment in an upmarket area


Sounds like a swinging batchelor pad and not a family home.

and is buying all new furniture for it.


Not wanting to sound sexist here LIH, but I can see how that would get a woman down, as it''s the sort of thing a married couple do together.

Definitely a bummer...but don''t let your imagination start playing mind movies with you LIH.

Things are not always what they seem and his life is just as vulnerable to pitfalls as anyone elses.
Nobody knows what''s round the next corner.

Many folk have mistakenly strutted their stuff before a fall.

Don''t let it get to you.

LW

  • livinginhope
  • livinginhope's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
25 Mar 12 #320029 by livinginhope
Reply from livinginhope
I didn''t have any hopes of last minute change of heart as I''m the one who petitioned for Divorce but in spite of that I''m still sad that we couldn''t work things out between us.
It is definitely a Batchelor Pad he is setting up.He has never really ever acted like part of a married couple which is why we have ended up the way we are.
I know things couldn''t go on as they were and I will be relieved when he is gone but it''s so easy for him that I feel like he has always just used me for an easy life and when I took a stand and stood up for myself I wasn''t worth making any life changes to him.

I do realise I''m going to be better off without him but life will be difficult at first and I need to get through that and pick myself up again and look forward to the future.Looking back won''t help and I have come a long way since last year when I made the decision to Divorce him.I guess it''s easy to view the past with rose coloured spectacles when the end is near.I really should have Divorced him 5 years ago but kept hoping a miracle would happen.It didn''t and I decided life would be better alone than with him so now I just need to be positive and strong and get through this week as best I can

Thank you all so much for your replies.
LIH xxx

  • Marshy_
  • Marshy_'s Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
26 Mar 12 #320116 by Marshy_
Reply from Marshy_
Hi LIH.

livinginhope wrote:

I didn''t have any hopes of last minute change of heart as I''m the one who petitioned for Divorce but in spite of that I''m still sad that we couldn''t work things out between us.


I know you said that didnt have any plans to reconcile. But what may have been in the back of yr mind is that you couldnt believe that it could just end this way.

But it has. You had yr reasons for doing what you did. And those reasons are still valid. It wouldnt matter if he moved into a squat or Bucking Palace. I know its tough that you have to stay and sort the sale out. But the good news is that you will do it. And no one does a job better than ourselves. You are in the driving seat (as you have been all along) and you can make sure that this is done right.

I know it feels as if the other party is "Getting away with it" and "Swanning off into the sunset". But its never like this. I can tell you that its tough starting again somewhere new. And not all that glitters is gold. C.

  • livinginhope
  • livinginhope's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
26 Mar 12 #320126 by livinginhope
Reply from livinginhope
Thanks Marshy.I suppose I''m envious that he is moving to what used to be my dream location.I would love to live there but can''t afford it.That may be one of the reasons he chose it to show how well he can do without me.I''m well aware that he will manage very well financially so I need to just shrug my shoulders and get on with it.
I''ve just emptied the rest of his stuff from the main bedroom and can''t believe how much better it looks.It also feels much calmer and more peaceful too.He is a messy hoarder so I know his new place will look crap very soon.It will also be easier to handle sale of the house when I don''t have to keep constantly tidying up his mess.
I don''t have to be an unpaid maid any more:)

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11