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downhill from dinnertime

  • sally48
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29 Mar 12 #320666 by sally48
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This morning i recieved some kind words from sam72 which gave me a boost. thanks again. On a morning after very little sleep and tormented nights I get up and try to see the day as a new beginning, then comes the afternoon all the feelings of hopelessness slowly creep back in. I dont want to feel like this anymore sometimes the sadness is overwhelming, and I cant see an end to it. I find it easier when I,m angry but thats exhausting and not healthy for my daughter.When do these feelings stop because I feel like I,m living in a nightmare, and He,s living the life of a single man, it,s so unfare. Feel another long night ahead approaching.

  • MrsMathsisfun
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29 Mar 12 #320677 by MrsMathsisfun
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I guess its early days for you.

Suddenly finding yourself a single parent is a shock to the system, but would you really want to living the single life??

The rewards from bringing up children far outweigh any nights out on the tiles.

Tonight whilst your daughter is sleeping go and have a look at her, she will soon remind you why you will survive this.

  • Marshy_
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29 Mar 12 #320697 by Marshy_
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Hi Sally.

I read back thru yr posts so know a little about yr situation. You have had a living hell for the last 6 months. He has worn you down love. And I can imagine the battering you have had from him and you have issued proceedings. Maybe a little bit early. But hey.

So what you are having to contend with is he left you for someone else. She is a lot younger than you are and more than likely he has been seeing her for at least 6 months. Hence the nasty words and the attitude. This is very common for someone that is having an affair. And if you look back at the introduce yrself list, you will see me and others tell the OP that this is why they are getting this treatment.

Plus you have an in progress divorce going on. Just the 1st thing is enough to get anyone down. Let alone someone that is divorcing someone as well. Give yrself a break sister. You have enough on yr plate right now.

What JD says is right. This is early days for you. And during these early days when the anger comes and the feeling that he is living high on the hog is too much for you.

What I recommend is that you back off for a while. The divorce is up and running. So leave that be for now. No more pressure.

Try and eat. You need food. But it has to be good quality. To perform in a 5 star way, you need 5 star fuel. Dont worry about the cals for now. Carb up if you need to. Plenty of pasta and fish and or chicken. Just good old wholesome food.

Rest. You need to try and sleep. And you wont sleep right of all this stuff is going round yr head. So what you need is the classic relaxation technique. At bedtime, goto bed and instead of just turning the light out, try and read. When you feel ready for some Zzz''s, breath in, hold yr breath for about 30 seconds if you can and breath out slowly. Do this a few times. And then hit the light. You will find that yr heart rate will slow and yr limbs will go slack. This will relax you. But yr mind is bound to wander and you will start thinking about your situation. As soon as you do, think about something nice. Keep knocking the thoughts back to nice things when they start going bad. And if you get tense, do the breathing thing again. This should knock yr natural sleep rythem back into shape.

During these early days and months you will have trouble sleeping. You need yr rest otherwise you will not be able to function and not eating properly, will just run you down.

Lastly. This is a tough thing you are going thru. This is perhaps the hardest thing you have ever done or will ever do. I lost my mum and dad a long time ago. But I can assure you that what you are going thru and what I went thru was worse than loosing my mum and dad combined. A lot of people on this site will tell you that that has gone thru the same will tell you that this is the worst thing that ever happened to them and nothing compares to this. The word awful does not even come close as to how bad this is.

Very lastly. This phase you are going thru I can only describe as shock. When the shock where''s off, you will start to feel a lot better. And I can tell you with total certainty that your life will improve. One day, you will look back on this and say that it made you stronger, tougher and better able to face life. As survive this and you can survive anything that this world will throw at you. And survive you will. You have to believe that. Best ones, try and be strong and very very lastly (((BIG HUGS))) C.

  • bygones99
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29 Mar 12 #320700 by bygones99
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All I can say is ((((((Hugs))))))

  • Crumpled
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29 Mar 12 #320706 by Crumpled
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I can only say i have been where you are and it is horrible ..things will improve but it will probaby take time I totally agree with Marshy look after yourself try to eat I know that is hard but you need fuel to keep going ...big hugs from me as well you are not alone

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29 Mar 12 #320709 by Crumpled
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I can only say i have been where you are and it is horrible ..things will improve but it will probaby take time I totally agree with Marshy look after yourself try to eat I know that is hard but you need fuel to keep going ...big hugs from me as well you are not alone

  • tigger64
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29 Mar 12 #320728 by tigger64
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Men that do this to their wives and children are scum, but I like you have gone through the despair, I wanted to die, she is younger than me and they now have a baby! Focus on you for now, get strong and healthy, it is so easy to go down hill when this kind of thing happens, my husband left us for the ,younger, woman, I might add she may be young but she is bloody ugly!!! He expected hearts and roses - not quite, he has a new baby (he is 55) he is living in a 1 bed flat and is allowed to visit her twice a week!! She wanted a married man not a full time partner ahhh bless!! Give it time you will have the last laugh as they say but you must look after yourself, sleep and eat!!! Big Big huggs babe you will get through this I promise you.

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