Thanks for all the posts! I know, I know, I know...Be successful and happy. That is the best revenge, I know it and I know it does kill him - seeing me so happy without him. Last time he was around seeing the babies he was crying (tears of a crocodile). He has lost so much more than me and he is devastated. After waiting so long for children he will never be a full time dad - while I am a full time mother. I am enjoying my babies SOOO much, much more than I thought I ever could. I wake up to two smiling, giggling babies every morning and that is the the best feeling in the world.
It is getting easier everyday and it makes me feel better to know so many people, men and women have been through the same thing. I am not alone.