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Dominoes keep falling

  • JustH
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11 Jul 08 #32276 by JustH
Topic started by JustH
That's how it feels- family torn apart and now the support is falling away

Can't believe it is only a week since Wiki Summer Party.

That was such a release- and sorry- I did make the most of it.

To cut a long story, have been to womens aid about hubby and 21 year old son about' emotional, financial abuse and being pushed about' if ever a bruise it was my fault- and my son is emotionally demonstrative like me, father controlled and calculating

My Dad had a stroke 2 years ago and, as an only child, I did all the caring

Told my Mum about the abuse, she was not interested- too caught up in her own world ( they also have a grandaughter, my baby, just 15)

Dad has dementia (75) from stroke- and I was always Daddys only girl

Son was 21 in April and mother said she would buy him a car

I rang her a couple of weeks ago to tell her I had to get the police out as he was coming round to the FMH, which his dad left, intimidating me( lots of other issues with son including bailiffs at my house cos he transferred debt here)and if she bought him the car she was condoning his behaviour- he has told me I should not be in the house, his dad should- (22 year marriage dad high earner)

She has bought him the car anyway, and I have not spoken to her or my son since- son is now going round for the last week for the first time ever- he even missed birthdays etc

Will it all sort itself out or do I just sell up or just give up and disappear?

  • redoctober
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11 Jul 08 #32309 by redoctober
Reply from redoctober
Hi Juicy,

It was lovely to meet you on Saturday and you certainly seemed to be enjoying yourself.

I have a son roughly the same age. Although he is not behaving the way your son is, I can understand that you are afraid.
Afraid of what he may do, afraid of his reactions, afraid that if you do something drastic it may affect his future and his chances.
Because that is what we mothers are like - we are taught to be the rock in the wild sea and that we have a duty to take anything and everything that is thrown at us.
Your son is an adult. You are no longer responsible for him You annd your daughter ( who I presume is living with you ) have a right to feel safe and secure wherever you are.
You ask if it will all sort itself out. I know that family feuds - and this has all the hallmarks of the beginning of one - do not go away, unless one of the parties goes away.
You ask if you should sell up. I do not know your financial circumstances, but if your father is now being cared for by others, there are very good reasons for you to consider getting a life free of turmoil somewhere else.
You ask if you should just give up and disappear. Never. You seem to be a woman with an iron resolve - otherwise you would not have been able to stick it out all this time.
I think it is time you thought about yourself and your daughter. Period.

Sorry I cannot offer more practical help, but I do not know enough about your background to do so.
You are a lovely person and let no-one else tell you otherwise.

You know where to find me
Take care
Red XX

  • Young again
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11 Jul 08 #32315 by Young again
Reply from Young again

I answered your other post and would have said the same pretty much the same as Redoctober on this one.

I would however stress that Nothing sorts 'itself' out - you need to take positive steps, do not lie down and let yourself be trampled over!

I would also add that you did most certainly make the most of it on Saturday, lol! And why not? Didn't we all?


  • JustH
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11 Jul 08 #32323 by JustH
Reply from JustH
Thanks both of you

Does anyone else have the same thing with sleeping
Will sleep now and wake up in 4-5 hours time if I' lucky

Will normally read for an hour or 2 but last night was awake from 3 and never got back to sleep

Any suggestions please

  • Jollyrocket
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12 Jul 08 #32329 by Jollyrocket
Reply from Jollyrocket
Hello again Juicy
Have you tried the herbal nightall thingies - no chemicals but may help you sleep. Melatonin may help too - another natural remedy. One other when things get horrid is some of the Bach spray, actually does work - especially with panic attacks/sorrow in the middle of the night. - See you local pharmacist - who deals with these things/herbal shops - may be of use - worth a try ?

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