I had an ok week. Kept to the no contact thing until yesterday and then didn''t have a choice but it was ok I thought.
Had a good day today, managed to talk about the situation with a friend without crying for the first time.
But its 6pm on Friday night and I''ve got that sicky feeling starting up in my stomach and those thoughts are creaping into my head.....wondering what is he doing on a Friday night in London, wondering what or who he is with on Saturday too....Imagining all sorts of stuff going on (basically torturing myself, why I do this I don''t know).
I am not too bad in the week but I hate the weekends. I know its illogical, he can do what he likes any time he likes so don''t know why its worse on a Friday, but then haven''t had many logical thoughts for a while.
Of course it''s painful...
Fridays were always the end of the workaday week to relax and have some fun all your life till recently.
You''ve probably felt like that since you were 10 or younger.
Friday''s were fun evenings for so long in all of your life that you can remember.
So now you''re sitting maybe watching telly or doing something all alone now after all those years and faith for the future.
You never planned ahead for this.
It''s not what I had planned or expected anyway.
But like a bolt out of the Blue...it happened!
My Doctor said to me that the symptoms of and recovery from a separation/divorce forms such a predictable pattern that you could classify it as a medical illness.
"Focus entirely on yourself , not anybody else, because if you are unwell then you are hardly in any position to help anyone else.
Treat yourself as your own patient and show yourself the same care as a dedicated Doctor would to an old friend."
Things will get better if you can hang on in and try to ride the tsunami..
I know what you mean. I always loved Fridays. They were the promise of the weekend. Which was usually fun, or at least different.
Now, some of my Fridays are ok. If I have plans that I''m excited about like this weekend. Then I am really looking forward to it. Others are not so good.
I find myself looking at weekends coming up and seeing if I will have plans. I can see, for example, a holiday weekend in late May when she has the kids and I have no plans at all. I have to quell the urge to frantically make plans. I have to remember to leave some totally free time. To be alone and soak that up. Otherwise, I have the tendency to over busy myself.
Weekends when I was married were very calm. Very nice. Friday night was always at home. Sharing the week. But, I am building a new life now and it is going to be great. Some Fridays I am with my kids and that is really good. Some Fridays I am alone and I want to make sure that is good. Others I am with friends - nice.
I think, we''ll all get there. I think that those who post here are working on their stuff and will emerge stronger.
It is a tough road. Have a good weekend and enjoy it as much as you can! I''m going camping with 30 other men this weekend. Something I have been looking forward to since January.