A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.

Concerned about crying

  • Furball
  • Furball's Avatar Posted by
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
24 Apr 12 #326366 by Furball
Topic started by Furball
I know there is not a lot anyone can do about this, but I needed to just write it down because I am concerned and I can''t really discuss it with anyone else.

I haven''t had a good cry since I first found out, about my need for a divorce, and when Dad died at New Year. Even when we had our pitiful little cremation for him in France I had to be Mum''s support so didn''t let go.

On Thursday we are cremating the Ex''s Dad who died last Friday. I have known him for 14 years and he was a dear soul.

I''m just concerned that, because funerals always make me cry, it will set me off and I won''t be able to stop because I have so much to let out.

I worry that others will think I am milking it, or being a drama queen, but as I am a gnats whisker away from snivelling most of the time I just know I am going to be a wreck.

Fingers crossed for me guys. I will try to keep my stiff upper lip for a few more weeks.

Love to all FB x x x

  • fairylandtime
  • fairylandtime's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
24 Apr 12 #326369 by fairylandtime
Reply from fairylandtime
Hi Furball

How long has it been? You are probably in shock I spent my 1st year in shock before it really hit me & I cried. On top of everything you have the death of your father & now you fil.

Will anyone be with you at the funeral? I am sure no one will think you are milking it & really does it matter what others think?

Good luck for tommorow JJx

  • sun flower
  • sun flower's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
24 Apr 12 #326371 by sun flower
Reply from sun flower
I am full of admiration of you putting yourself through this.

It will be what it is. You may cry or there may be a feeling of unreality about it until you are finished when it may hit.

It does not matter too much what others think - they may just admire you for going (Or they may be embarrassed and not know what to say - hold your head up high - that is their problem.)

Can you be kind to yourself in the evening? Promise yourself wine chocolates and fav film or something - to recover?

I will be standing at your elbow in spirit supporting you - and once again - you are a wonderful powerful strong compassionate person for doing this...don''t forget it all day.

  • Lostboy67
  • Lostboy67's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
24 Apr 12 #326381 by Lostboy67
Reply from Lostboy67
Hi FB,
Something my grandmother said to me once a long time ago.....
"there is no shame in crying, it shows you have a heart and not a stone"


  • livinginhope
  • livinginhope's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
24 Apr 12 #326385 by livinginhope
Reply from livinginhope
Don''t be embarassed to cry it really does help sometimes.I posted about my friends death just before Easter and I couldn''t cry and I still haven''t really been able to let go.I hope you get some comfort from the service and can say goodbye to your FIL in your own way.

  • Mitchum
  • Mitchum's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
25 Apr 12 #326412 by Mitchum
Reply from Mitchum
Furball, this has been yet another blow in a series for you and you are about due a good cry.

You''re going out of respect for a person who was ''a dear soul''. Just keep that thought in mind and remember that we''re right behind you willing you through. I think other mourners would probably think it odd if you didn''t cry. No one''s made of stone and there will be others shedding tears.

As others have said promise yourself a treat in the evening when you can relax in the knowledge that it was a job well done for a man you respected.

Be gentle with yourself. xx

  • Marshy_
  • Marshy_'s Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
25 Apr 12 #326413 by Marshy_
Reply from Marshy_
Lostboy67 wrote:

Hi FB,
Something my grandmother said to me once a long time ago.....
"there is no shame in crying, it shows you have a heart and not a stone"


I have to agree with LB''s grandmother. There is no shame in crying. If you lose it at the funeral, you do. And who cares what anyone else thinks?

Its a mistake to hold it in when you dont need to. Ok, there are times when you need to be a rock. But this isnt one of those times.

Just let it go if you need to. C.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11