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Concerned about crying

  • Furball
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24 Apr 12 #326366 by Furball
Topic started by Furball
I know there is not a lot anyone can do about this, but I needed to just write it down because I am concerned and I can''t really discuss it with anyone else.

I haven''t had a good cry since I first found out, about my need for a divorce, and when Dad died at New Year. Even when we had our pitiful little cremation for him in France I had to be Mum''s support so didn''t let go.

On Thursday we are cremating the Ex''s Dad who died last Friday. I have known him for 14 years and he was a dear soul.

I''m just concerned that, because funerals always make me cry, it will set me off and I won''t be able to stop because I have so much to let out.

I worry that others will think I am milking it, or being a drama queen, but as I am a gnats whisker away from snivelling most of the time I just know I am going to be a wreck.

Fingers crossed for me guys. I will try to keep my stiff upper lip for a few more weeks.

Love to all FB x x x

  • fairylandtime
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24 Apr 12 #326369 by fairylandtime
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Hi Furball

How long has it been? You are probably in shock I spent my 1st year in shock before it really hit me & I cried. On top of everything you have the death of your father & now you fil.

Will anyone be with you at the funeral? I am sure no one will think you are milking it & really does it matter what others think?

Good luck for tommorow JJx

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24 Apr 12 #326371 by sun flower
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Furball
I am full of admiration of you putting yourself through this.

It will be what it is. You may cry or there may be a feeling of unreality about it until you are finished when it may hit.

It does not matter too much what others think - they may just admire you for going (Or they may be embarrassed and not know what to say - hold your head up high - that is their problem.)

Can you be kind to yourself in the evening? Promise yourself wine chocolates and fav film or something - to recover?

I will be standing at your elbow in spirit supporting you - and once again - you are a wonderful powerful strong compassionate person for doing this...don''t forget it all day.

  • Lostboy67
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24 Apr 12 #326381 by Lostboy67
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Hi FB,
Something my grandmother said to me once a long time ago.....
"there is no shame in crying, it shows you have a heart and not a stone"

LB

  • livinginhope
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24 Apr 12 #326385 by livinginhope
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Don''t be embarassed to cry it really does help sometimes.I posted about my friends death just before Easter and I couldn''t cry and I still haven''t really been able to let go.I hope you get some comfort from the service and can say goodbye to your FIL in your own way.
XXX

  • Mitchum
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25 Apr 12 #326412 by Mitchum
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Furball, this has been yet another blow in a series for you and you are about due a good cry.

You''re going out of respect for a person who was ''a dear soul''. Just keep that thought in mind and remember that we''re right behind you willing you through. I think other mourners would probably think it odd if you didn''t cry. No one''s made of stone and there will be others shedding tears.

As others have said promise yourself a treat in the evening when you can relax in the knowledge that it was a job well done for a man you respected.

Be gentle with yourself. xx

  • Marshy_
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25 Apr 12 #326413 by Marshy_
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Lostboy67 wrote:

Hi FB,
Something my grandmother said to me once a long time ago.....
"there is no shame in crying, it shows you have a heart and not a stone"

LB


I have to agree with LB''s grandmother. There is no shame in crying. If you lose it at the funeral, you do. And who cares what anyone else thinks?

Its a mistake to hold it in when you dont need to. Ok, there are times when you need to be a rock. But this isnt one of those times.

Just let it go if you need to. C.

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