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  • Nota
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28 Apr 12 #326921 by Nota
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I''m with Stepper on this.
Counselling - dangerous ground IMHO.
Pandora''s box springs to mind.

  • Shoegirl
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28 Apr 12 #326922 by Shoegirl
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It baffles me how anyone can comment about counselling without trying it. I fully agree that it is down to choice on what is right for an individual but I strongly feel that if something helps someone through this process, then why discourage it?

We can and do have individual choices of course but for me anyway counselling was and is right and has contributed heavily towards me living a much happier life. If someone''s GP or their individual choice means that it right for them then so be it.

I don''t judge people who have chosen not to have counselling as it is what is right for them that counts. Likewise I don''t think it is fair to describe the process as dangerous or pointless when people are commenting from a place of little or no experience of it.

I don''t think counselling works for everyone. It can work extremely well for others, I think it depends how open you are to the process and finding the right therapy for you. If people don''t want to go down that road then that it up to them but the OP wants counselling support and has discussed this with the GP.

  • MrsMathsisfun
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28 Apr 12 #326930 by MrsMathsisfun
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Counselling is about personal choice.

I found it invaluable, often my sessions were very stressful and I came away drained.

I also found that it took 3/4 sessions before I could see the value in it.

  • Gloriasurvive
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28 Apr 12 #327036 by Gloriasurvive
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I have had a very positive experience from Councilling. I wish I could have afforded more sessions. But it is personal experience and choice.
My councillors favourite phrase which I use still is " but how do you know that?" . When I have worries about things that might happen or if my X is having an amazing new life etc. I think " how do I know this?" and the answer is always "I don''t". :)

  • Action
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28 Apr 12 #327037 by Action
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I don''t know how I would have survived this far without the support of my counsellor and GP. I was having counselling before I discovered my husband''s infidelity. I really believed that the problems in our marriage were all my fault. It took two sessions for my counsellor to realise just what the problem was (he later told me). I was lucky because my counselling was in place when the s--t hit the fan.

I did have a not so good experience with a counsellor many years ago though - long uncomfortable silences - so asked for someone else.

I agree it''s not for everyone and I still do rely on being able to talk things through with my lovely friends, but, at the end of the day, they all have their own lives to lead and it''s a long journey to expect even your best mates to put up with.

  • pixy
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29 Apr 12 #327043 by pixy
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I don''t see how anyone can generalise about counselling. Some counsellors are very good, some are not. Some people are open to counselling; some are sufficiently self analytical to come through without; some are unable to look within themselves wtih anyh honesty.

If LW doesn''t find his counsellor of any use then perhaps he either doesn''t need one or needs one with a different approach. That''s his decision. I wish him luck.

  • julesgy
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29 Apr 12 #327083 by julesgy
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good morning leftwondering - and everyone else
you could maybe try another counsellor it took me 3 different ones to find the one that worked for me - the first counsellor just told me all the tricks that men (and women) use to hide their adultery !! that was the last thing i wanted to hear but in the end i found one that i could connect to so stick with it - it helped me i came from my appointments feeling stronger.


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