Utter shock - please advise

I simply cannot believe that the supposed love of my life, acccording to her, has gone away. I did my all for her - I was a good partner

John,
You feel hollow and empty because you still want her but unfortunately she doesn''t want you.
There''s feck all you can do about that.
People talk about reconciliations I always think that''s total bollox that is.
Because once one of the parties has shown they don''t really think the other person is the dogs bollox to me it''s all bets are off.
I''ve seen loads of desperate people hang around for a spouse that''s ditched them to come back.I''ve seen people on here who say I''m getting back together and I always think you''ve got no self respect anyone can stoop to pick up shxt.
You''re relationship was beautiful while it was.Then it no longer was at the point when she decided I don''t want to be with this bloke any more.
I don''t give a shxt what anyone says to me there''s no way back.You know deep down even if you get back together it''s because they''re settling.
I couldn''t give a feck how short fat balding glasses wearing middle aged bloke I may be.But I''m sure as feck ain''t ever gonna be someones consolation prize.
I must always be le testicles du chien.
So distractions for men do loads of bloke things go on a lads holiday buy a new flash motor,get yourself some new clobber,go out and have a bit of fun with as many birds as you can.
All the best
Pete

And if you reply to that
"BUT I LOVE HER"
I will have to give you a slap
All the best
HRH xx

You''ll get through this. Know for now that it is all new and raw.

Do not contact her. About anything. Just don''t do it. There is nothing more unattractive than neediness.

She had the grace to dump you over text. So be dumped. Feel sorry for yourself, go out with friends, start to remake your life. Know that, eventually, you will be much better off without her.

The best thing you can do is dust yourself off and live a great life. When you''re ready. She''ll hear of this. She''ll know that you''re doing very well. She may even want you back. Then you''ll have to choose. I bet you go forward. Why would you go back to that?

Hi again John

johnt153 wrote:

Any advice on how to quell the inevitable compulsion to contact her when it next arises? I''m consumed by a need to know why. Not giving a crap about someone you professed to love is something I''m seriously struggling to get my head around

Try this John...

Promise yrself that you will not contact her for 10 mins. Then after 10 mins, promise another 10. Do this 6 times and then you have an hour. For the next session promise an hour. Then another hour. Then another. Pretty soon, you will have a day. The next day make it 2 hours and so on. Building hour apon hour allows you to achieve the non contact that you need.

As others have said, contacting her feeds her and drains you. It may help you after a few days to delete her number. Burn the phone bills so there is no way you can get that number. After a few days of not contacting her, it gets a lot easier.

People can cast you aside like and old sock. It happens. Some people can be really ruthless with others feelings. I am sure you have seen this before. Its a common tactic. But she has done you a favour. Imagine what it would be like if you married her? U had a lucky escape. You will realise this in time. C.

John i know you maust be terribly hurt right now...i too had texts which said there is no need to contact me the solicitor will sort everything!...i have had the worst 15 months of my life and if i can get through it so can you!...stay strong! xx

hi john, im sorry your here, but listen to there advice, it will be hard, very hard, i think weve all lost the `loves` of our lives, eat when you can, sleep when you can, take care xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx