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I feel so broken....

  • leftwondering
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01 May 12 #327676 by leftwondering
Topic started by leftwondering
Yesterday my wife phoned up about something.
It was amazing to hear her voice again.
I still love her so much.
She was laughing and telling me how much she loved this guy and would always be with him.

No mention of the 30+ years we''ve been together.

I never knew life could be so cruel.
When I was 30 I always imagined my life to be settled with kids and happy by the time I was 60.

I just feel broken now with no reason to go on.
I feel so alone and need a cuddle from her.
I never knew life could be so bad.

I asked her why she left and she said she didn''t know.

This is the pit of Hell.

I think about her 24/7


  • teecher
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01 May 12 #327680 by teecher
Reply from teecher
I really feel for you- she sounds as if she''s still in the affair "fog."- but what a hurtful thing to say to you!:angry:
Remember that cheaters have already come to terms with moving on and they just don''t/can''t see the devastation their actions cause, also because they are selfish they cannot see how much their actions can hurt and have no truck with feeling guilty!
Grieve for the wife you once knew but accept that she has long gone- would you truly want to be with someone who can hurt you so casually and treat you so badly?
Think about it.

  • Bluebird88
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01 May 12 #327681 by Bluebird88
Reply from Bluebird88

Im so sorry, i completely understand how you feel, my partner of 15 yrs recently left me for OW and eight weeks on i am still devastated...

I am on AD''s and not eating properly, i wake in the night with panic attacks, this truly is a living hell- i agree.

The way that are beloved OH''s move on so quickly is beyond me, i just don''t understand it, they have no care for our feelings or pain.

Left, please know that i am standing shoulder to shoulder with you in this misery, you are not alone in this, things will get better x

  • Marshy_
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01 May 12 #327685 by Marshy_
Reply from Marshy_
Hi LW. I think you are upset cos yr ex rang you. And this has set you back some. I suspect it was a bolt from the blue. And its affected you.

This happens to lots of us. This is where the no contact rule comes from. She is like a poison to you. If you speak to her it will make you ill. And this is what has happened.

I made the same mistake that you did. And it affected me the same way that its affecting you. Chin up mate. You will get past this.

Why was she laughing? Why did she tell you that she loved this guy? I think there are 2 reasons.

She hates the idea that your doing so well without her. When she left, she expected to step over you in the gutter. She wanted you to suffer. But you havnt. In fact, to her, you have been doing better than expected. Thats why she told you all this coblers.

One other reason.. I call this perfect family inside syndrome. If you love someone it shows. There is no need to shout it from the rooftops or tell yr ex. Thats just mean. But it shows us that things are not that well with her. And how could they be?

We all think that the grass is greener on the other side. Often people that are like this are disappointed. They find out really quickly that its not what they thought it would be. But they cant go back. To go back means that they have failed and that they were wrong. And this will never do.

Love is a funny thing. And it has many flavours. There is infatuation. And there is true love that is built up over many years. Infatuation is like cheese on cheap pizza''s. It looks like real cheese. Tastes almost the same as real cheese (when drunk). But it cant be real cheese for £1.99. Same with her love for this guy. How can she love him? She cant. Love doesnt come in an instant like it does in Mills and Boon like this....

She glanced across the room and their eyes met. Her heart skipped a beat and she felt her legs turn to jelly and start to swoon. His dashing frame advanced across the ballroom and caught her in an embrace as she almost fell to the floor...

Give me a break...

Lastly. She still has feelings for you. If she didnt. She would have no need to ring you and tell you she loved someone else. She would just blank you and wouldnt care a flying fig about you. But you cant live with someone and not feel something for them. As usual. Her actions betray her true intent.

But this is all to no avail. What you should do is not speak to her again. You need to get over her. She has made her bed and she has to lie on it. Your bed is not made yet. C.

  • johnt153
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01 May 12 #327696 by johnt153
Reply from johnt153

Your replies to my post have helped immensely - don''t let this act of impossible cruelty get to you. I can only echo what Marshy has said, and add that it is utterly alien to me how your wife can act in this way. You truly don''t deserve it.


  • pixy
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01 May 12 #327703 by pixy
Reply from pixy
Love can''t be turned off like a tap, so of course you still love her. But equally you know in your head that the marriage is over and that she cannot be trusted.

Any kind of contact will set you back. As Marshy says, she is like a poison to your wellbeing.

Stay strong.


  • donkler
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01 May 12 #327707 by donkler
Reply from donkler
Im with Marshy, and dont think things are as rosey as she makes out.

Can I ask why she rang you in the first place? Did she have real reason to contact you - something that couldnt wait?

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