A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Mon/Fri 9am-6pm       Sat/Sun 2pm-6pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Seriously struggling

  • johnt153
  • johnt153's Avatar Posted by
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
More
02 May 12 #327928 by johnt153
Topic started by johnt153
Not sleeping, not eating, head in bits. I cannot believe the woman I loved - and thought of as my best friend - has gone. I''m really worried for my wellbeing and safety. I know that things will improve but right at the moment this is unbelievably hard and I don''t know how to manage it. I don''t know what I did wrong - I do know that I miss her intensely. Sorry to be on a downer! John.

  • rubytuesday
  • rubytuesday's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
More
02 May 12 #327931 by rubytuesday
Reply from rubytuesday
John, I''m sorry to hear that you are struggling.

I think the first thing you need to do is make an appointment with your GP as soon as possible, and have a chat with him/her.

The Samaritans provide 24 hour telephone support on 08457 90 90 90 . Their volunteers listen in confidence to anyone in any type of emotional distress, without judging or telling people what to do.

Try to eat something, anything and drink water. Avoid alcohol as that is a depressant and won''t help your low mood. Try to get out for a short walk each day, and inform your employer of the change in circumstances at home - they maybe more support than you realise.

Her leaving isn''t down to you doing anything "wrong", and you mustn''t blame yourself. You need to focus on you for the time being, and make sure you are receiving the support and help you need.

Our chatroom is a good place to talk to others who understand how you are feeling, you don''t even have to join in the conversation, sometimes just sitting and reading what others are saying can be a comfort and stave off the loneliness.

Know that you are not alone, you are now among people who do empathise, and understand everything you have written in your post because we too have been there.

Take Care

Ruth

  • Marshy_
  • Marshy_'s Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
02 May 12 #327934 by Marshy_
Reply from Marshy_
Just want to add something to what Ruth has told you. You will have trouble sleeping. There is a relaxation technique that is older than Bruce Forsyth is. Its dead easy and you can do it at bed time. It will help you relax and hopefully sleep for a while.

Breath in. Hold your breath for about 30 seconds or more if you can manage it. And then breath out. S l o w l y. As slowly as you can. Do this 2 or 3 times. You will feel the tension leave you and most importantly the anxiousness.

This is a tough time for you. Perhaps the toughest time you have ever had. But as you know, this phase wont last. You will feel better. But you have to keep yr energy levels up as Ruth has said. Eat something and drink water. No alcohol. C.

  • johnt153
  • johnt153's Avatar Posted by
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
More
02 May 12 #327936 by johnt153
Reply from johnt153
Thanks - seriously. This has knocked me for six. I gave her my all and she can''t even be bothered to end things by a phone call - I''m only worth a single text. My God.

  • rubytuesday
  • rubytuesday's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
More
02 May 12 #327937 by rubytuesday
Reply from rubytuesday
No, - you are worth far more than a single text. See that a reflection upon her, not you.

  • samchik1
  • samchik1's Avatar
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
More
02 May 12 #327955 by samchik1
Reply from samchik1
Hey John,

Sometimes it helps simply to know that others are with you...going through this almost in parallel with you. And that some have actually trodden this path before and are now beyond it.

I can tell you I''m right there with you. Suicidal thoughts, pain beyond anything I can imagine, amplified love for her, self-blame and all of the other usual suspects. I''ve just come out of a work meeting. I hated it...all of my thoughts were about hugging her, holding her, being with her.

All I can say is that in moments like that I think if you are still on the face of the planet 30 minutes later then you can congratulate yourself. That''s all you can do...stay alive during them.

The others here tell me this will pass...I''m counting on it.

  • johnt153
  • johnt153's Avatar Posted by
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
More
02 May 12 #327960 by johnt153
Reply from johnt153
Hi Samchik,

I''ve read some of your posts and I''m so sorry for what you''re going through. These last few days have been nothing but a living hell. I''ve had to cancel the few customers I had due to the state I''m in so I''ve no income and few funds. I''m genuinely concerned that I haven''t the will or strength to get through this :(She really was my everything.

John.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11