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Seriously struggling

  • bryce125
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02 May 12 #327964 by bryce125
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I have been where you are now, they were the blackest darkest moments of my life to date. When I asked a friend how long this pain would last, she replied ''six months''. I didn''t think I would live as long as that. In fact it lasted 9 months.
But gradually there really was a light at the end of the tunnel, it took time, lots and lots of tears, and some terrifyingly lonely times. Lean on your friends, if you have any (I lost not only my husband - but them too) but I found friends in the places I least expected.
See your GP, they can help, not necessarily with medication, but that can help - in the short term.
I feel for you, but all is not lost - take each day at a time, live for the one day at a time.

  • johnt153
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02 May 12 #327976 by johnt153
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Thanks, Bryce. By God I''m glad I was referred to this site! I feel truly terrible - my whole world has fallen from beneath my feet. And the almost certain likelihood that she couldn''t give a damn and is probably with someone else is unbearable. What a mess I am.

John.

  • leftwondering
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02 May 12 #327979 by leftwondering
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John the pain is f*cking hard.
The person you gave your heart to has just trashed you.
I looked at myself in the mirror this morning.
OK I have grey hair but I am pretty good looking, slim and fit.
I have honest and sincere views on life.

I know there is an honest soft and genuine woman out there who could do with a cuddle and some warm love from a strong, decent guy.

LW

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02 May 12 #327987 by johnt153
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Thanks, LW. I feel I haven''t really the right to moan after reading stories such as your own but this is savagely hard. I loved her, trusted her, did my best for her, and this is what I get as a result? Jesus. I can''t make any sense out of it.

John.

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02 May 12 #327988 by raybird
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you are in shock, you cant sleep, cant eat, cant concentrate, propbably doing a bit of house wandering to, maybe take the advice of the others and see your dr, he/she will be able to help, be it tablets, councilling. take things slowly and take care xxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • bryce125
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02 May 12 #327989 by bryce125
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John,
The reason you are in a mess is because you loved, that is not a weakness.

I''m not a fan of telling you not to do things, when I bloody well know I did them anyway!! But try not to crucify yourself thinking about what she might or might not be doing. Its all about positive thoughts - allegedly!! ;)Big Hugs Jules

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02 May 12 #327996 by Mitchum
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LW You''ve changed so much since your first posts; if only we could transplant some of your courage to John and he could bypass the in-between bit! You''re right of course having the support of virtual friends is a crucial part of getting through this. I''ve no idea how the good wishes of total strangers can make you feel better but know that they do.

John, you''re going through possibly the most painful experience you''ll ever have to cope with and we know exactly how you''re suffering at the moment. Please believe us when we say you will pull through this. There will be tears and anguish but take each day at a time and concentrate on just getting through to the evening. Treat each day as a fresh start and eventually you''ll have days when you''re not thinking of her 100% of the time. They''re the good days and eventually you''ll have more of those.

You''re grieving for the loss of someone you loved very much and who didn''t value your love. There''s no fast track to getting over this. Just steadily working your way through the emotions day by day. Let some of it wash over you and accept that right now you need to begin to heal.

Take care of yourself.

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