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Fed up with OW

  • perin123
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02 May 12 #328083 by perin123
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Just got email from Ex''s OW telling me of their plans for their wedding and the arrangements they have made regarding our son attending. No asking me if it was ok, just telling me what I am doing.

I have been patient for long enough with their demands and changing contact to suit them and their life, all for my son to try and make things easier for him. But he has had enough now and so have I.

Ex has moved on with his life (well he did that 2 weeks after getting his new job and sleeping with her) but he will not let me get on with mine. I spent 17 years being ruled by what he was doing and he still wants to do it now.:angry:

  • redwine47
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02 May 12 #328086 by redwine47
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Hi Perin. If it''s any consolation, my friends ex got married only a few months after their divorce. Wedding included all the children, exotic honeymoons etc. 6 months down the line they are separated.! Not nice for the children as no contact with ow which was forced previously.

I don''t understand the need to get married again.. Maybe my own experience has put me off forever. Only consolation for you is that ur ex is somebody else''s problem now. Hope ur children are coping!

The best thing to do is show no reaction to their demands.... I wish I could follow my own advice. X

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02 May 12 #328087 by redwine47
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Hi Perin. If it''s any consolation, my friends ex got married only a few months after their divorce. Wedding included all the children, exotic honeymoons etc. 6 months down the line they are separated.! Not nice for the children as no contact with ow which was forced previously.

I don''t understand the need to get married again.. Maybe my own experience has put me off forever. Only consolation for you is that ur ex is somebody else''s problem now. Hope ur children are coping!

The best thing to do is show no reaction to their demands.... I wish I could follow my own advice. X

  • Shoegirl
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03 May 12 #328099 by Shoegirl
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Perin

This woman still sees you as a threat. She is treating your ex husband like a child. She is behaving herself like a jealous teenager and lording it over you with the wedding plans. Shame you don''t give a toss isn''t it!

Sooo, I''m afraid someone needs to be the adult and the bigger person and rise above all this rubbish. Its embarrassing really to think two aduls live like this but very sad that a young boy is in the middle of this.

Keep on going doing the best for your boy. Remember the sad motivation for her behaviour towards you. Unfortunately your son is getting fed up with them now and the only thing you can do is encourage him to see Dad as you do however inconsistent this contact may be.

Please stay strong. I know it''s hard but keep reminding yourself of the reasons ow does this. It''s based on her own sad insecurity and unhappiness. Don''t let her state affect you.

You are in a category of people whose ex husband won''t live up to his responsibilities so I think it has been said before you have to carve a life knowing that the contact will be sporadic and inconsistent. Your boy is not far off an age where he will decide for himself and make his own arrangements with dad so it''s not forever.

So next time you see an email from her smile and know you are the better person. Your som will grow up knowing that you were strong for him and is all that mattered to you in this situation is his welfare whilst his dad allowed himself to practically be held under lock and key by ow and his relationship with his Dad was seriously compromised as a result.

Keep smilin ;)At least you are not in that toxic relationship that your ex has got himself into. He''s gonna need luck with that lot.

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03 May 12 #328138 by Mitchum
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Perin, I can only imagine how fed up you must be!

Your son will soon be old enough to decide about contact with them and as you''ve held the moral high ground and tried to keep things amicable you can truly say you''ve done your very best.

Try to shut them out of your life now and ignore emails from the OW. She''s not your ex and she''s out of order communicating with you in this way. Why his father''s not making the arrangements himself I can''t imagine.

Please concentrate on yourself now and on the day in question please arrange something nice for yourself and do not sit brooding.

  • julie321
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03 May 12 #328140 by julie321
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Perin

You must be a saint to put up with this. This woman has no right to contact you and your ex is a weak man to let her do it.

As Mitchum says ignore her. I tried to be amicable with my stbx for childrens sake but OW didn''t like me having contact with him so now I have no contact at all. I am fortunate that kids are old enough to make own arrangements but they only see dad and not her. She has alienated herself by her attitude to me. Hang in there your son will be able to decide for himself soon enough.

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03 May 12 #328145 by somuch2know2
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Call me crazy, but could it be her motivation was actually to keep you in the loop about things that concern your son? Perhaps OW tried to get your ex to speak to you regarding these issues, but for whatever reason refused and thought it was the right thing to do?

If OW didnt contact you to tell you about their plans for the wedding, wouldnt you have been annoyed?

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