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in the wee small hours of the morning

  • leftwondering
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04 May 12 #328298 by leftwondering
Topic started by leftwondering
thats the time you miss her most of all.
I don''t think I can take this anymore.

I''m beginning to lose it. Sitting at a keyboard at 3 in the morning.

Oh God, how painful this is.

LW

  • johnt153
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04 May 12 #328299 by johnt153
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Hi LW,

Ditto! You''re not losing it; from what I''ve read you''ve come too far now to give up. And you''re an inspiration to newbies like me so you can''t, frankly. Sorry ;)

John.

  • flowerofscotland
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04 May 12 #328304 by flowerofscotland
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Hi leftwondering,

Hello there. Take a deep breath. Please do not think for one second that you are not entitled to miss her. All of us here supporting you, who know your story, do realise just how much you miss her, we get it, we really understand. This is absolutely natural. Please do not give yourself a hard time.

I am no fairy godmother, ohh gee how I wish I was! To be able to stop the hurt and pain that you, and so many of us here, have felt and are still feeling. I wish I could magic your pain away leftwondering to make it all go away, but unfortunately I can''t.

What I can say is that even after 21 months in my case, I still have days or nights like you have just described, but they are less frequent, somehow and only with time, it subsides only to rear its ugly head now and again. Don''t get me wrong, I think about my STBX still everyday, but it is manageable, with the help of occupying my days so that when the night comes, I am too exhausted to think anymore.

Your agony is all part of the healing process and I know you will not believe me when I say that it does get better but I do think you have to allow yourself to feel your pain and emotions, in order to come to terms with it all and when it becomes less raw, you will move in a new direction all be it one you never envisaged.

Draw up a bucket list, go out there, live and love life, this is the one chance to start doing the things you always wanted to but never had the time.

Remember that love runs deep and the deeper the love the harder the process, but as they say it is not what it should be nor is it what it could have been, it is what it is. Make the most of every day and enjoy the good things that you still have in your life, never lose sight of that.

Stay strong and take care for now FoS x

  • Dees
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04 May 12 #328327 by Dees
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LW (((()))))

How painful is this??? More than you feel you can bear right know but that is just not true. You can get through this.

I don''t think it is possible to heal properly without going through the emotion, it isn''t easy by any stretch of the imagination and you get so fed up of feeling like you are not getting any better but the truth is you are even if it doesn''t seem like it right now.

Hang on in there LW, remember you are a good man and deserve a better life, one which will happen in time. Remember those baby steps and remember there are many people here on Wiki sending you hugs and support whwnever you need it.

Dees x

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04 May 12 #328468 by crystalclear
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Sending a great big hug.

Know how you feel, its awful.

Have to go out now, but will send another message later.

Crystal

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04 May 12 #328490 by yellowrose
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We all know how you feel. We all feel or have felt the same and though it doesn''t take away the pain, knowing that there are so many people here who care about you is a great strength.

Lots of hugs

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04 May 12 #328497 by Mitchum
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The hours before dawn are the worst, when the whole world seems to be sleeping and your thoughts are in turmoil again. It may feel incredibly lonely but you''re not alone, there are wikis up and down the land awake in the small hours too.

If we hadn''t cared so much it would have been so much easier to get over it. But we did and now we''re paying the price. Staying strong can be so debilitating but we have no choice. Lean on us lean on famliy and friends at home, anyone who will help you through this tough time.

Virtual hugs do help!

((((LW)))))

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