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So that''s that

  • Marshy_
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04 May 12 #328325 by Marshy_
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Hi John...

johnt153 wrote:

My head is in bits and I feel utterly desolate. All the lies she''s told, all the deceit. Will I ever be able to trust anybody again?


The PussyCat dolls song, "How many lies how many times. How long you been sneaking how long you been creeping around" comes to mind.

I know this hurts to know that she has been doing this behind your back and stabbing you in the back as well. But she is no good mate. Anyone that does this is no good. And I know you wont believe this now but, your well rid of her.

Baby steps. Take this one day at a time. Survive for just one day. Then the next day and string those days into a week. Then 2. Then 3. Soon you will have a whole month under your belt. Of course. No contact. Dont let her know that yr sufferin.

As for trusting someone again. Perhaps not and for sure not for a long time. But you will get past this and one day you will look back on this bad time and smile. C.

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04 May 12 #328328 by johnt153
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Thanks, everyone. I''m starting to hate myself for letting her get to me like this cause she sure as hell doesn''t deserve it. All my beliefs, all my hopes and intentions, all the things I thought were true have turned out to be nothing but lies. Yet even now my heart yearns for the person I thought she was. All I can take consolation in is the thought that ''what goes around comes around'' - I''m not perfect but I''m a pretty decent bloke who treated her right and she''s no guarantee of getting that again.

  • BrokenPromises
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04 May 12 #328339 by BrokenPromises
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"The person you thought she was" - that is the whole key. The person she actually is is not someone who deserves you or your love or your loyalty.

She may never get anyone as decent as you again - her problem not yours.

I really feel for you as you are living out my story and many other people on this site. It is awful to be let down by someone you really love and it is a shock to discover they are not the person you thought they were.

Listen to Marshy and everyone else''s advice - things seem so black now but little by little you will come through this. Do not have any contact with her - if you do you will hang on to every little crumb she throws you - I did. Unfortunately dishonest unfaithful people say things in the aftermath to make themselves feel better and to ease their conscience. They are selfish and fail to see that they are giving false hope and causing so much hurt.

I know it hurts like hell - but hang in there.

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04 May 12 #328340 by Mitchum
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Hi John,
It doesn''t get any tougher than this because the truth is now out. You know what you''re dealing with and can begin to take tiny steps towards getting through this. I know you will have to dig very deep to find the strength but believe me, if I can do it anyone can and I can hear strength in your tone already which wasn''t there yesterday.

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Advice...stages-of-grief.html

Do read the five stages of grief which Mike62 posted as it will help to see that there''s a pattern to what''s happened to you and it helps with coping to know that we''ve all been through or are going through where you are right now. We''re just at different stages but we know exactly how much you''re hurting.

Just get through today and let us know how it goes. Listening is what wikis are good at!

Thinking of you.

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04 May 12 #328341 by johnt153
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Thanks, all - sincerely. I really don''t know where I''d be without this site. Right now I can cheerfully say that I hate her, even detest her for what she''s done. Oh boy, this is going to be one tough ride. I take solace in knowing that people have been through it and care but I really don''t want to be on this rollercoaster myself. John.

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04 May 12 #328343 by BrokenPromises
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None of us want to be here John - but unfortunately we are. Think we all must be pretty decent people to feel as awful as we do because we can''t imagine causing the pain that has been inflicted on us.

So we have to hope that we have the strength (and we do) to get through this god awful experience and eventually put two fingers up to these people.

Keep hear - what doesn''t kill you makes you stronger - here''s hoping!

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04 May 12 #328345 by johnt153
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BrokenPromises :(:(:(

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