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bad day

  • it can only get better
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06 May 12 #328818 by it can only get better
Topic started by it can only get better
having a bad day today, can''t see the point of anything, stbx has informed the 3 children that he is moving to nannys for a while, so we are all siting watching tv for the last time as a family, not sure why I am upset, the marriage is over, but i am in so much pain, when will it stop hurting so much, he is so bloody cold after 18 years together i mean nothing to him, there is no way back, he is leaving me with all the shit, to deal with, and pop back and play daddy in two weeks, it''s so unfair,

  • Lostboy67
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06 May 12 #328819 by Lostboy67
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Hi
Well that is truely a sh!t day.
The upset you feel is because of the rejection of everything you have worked for. All of you hopes and dreams that you had for the future has been torn up without any sayso from you. Its a tempory thing that will pass over time, but its going to be a rough couple of weeks I won''t lie to you on that. For the moment you just need to keep yourself together and keep going day to day.
You need to focus on you and your children, they are the point of pretty much everything, make sure you take good care of them, and that means taking good care of yourself first.

Take care
LB

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06 May 12 #328823 by Canuck425
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You need to understand that he is likely months if not years ahead of you. The leaver has thought about this for a long time before acting. Then that person is fairly certain of their actions. The leavee is caught unaware and then has to catch up to the reality. Been there!

So take care of you first. You. Do things just for you. Yes you have to care for your children, obviously, but think of yourself first.

Eat well, sleep well, exercise and drink lots of water. Get support from real people on the phone or in person. Get a therapist, you will likely need it.

Right now you''re in survival mode. It will get better but that will take time and a lot of work. More on that later (like in a few months)...

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07 May 12 #328840 by lovestinks
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I''ll just re-iterate what Canuck425 said. Look after yourself, be kind to yourself! He''s right that the chances are you ex is years ahead of you down the marriage break-up timeline. Mine was when he left and that was one of the hardest things to put up with and come to terms with. So take care of yourself, eat well, exercise, sleep well - or as much as you can - and lean on your friends and family and get a therapist or go to your doctor for antidepressants, because all these things will help you to work you way through all this stuff that''s happening to you.And put you in a position to be able to also help your kids through this.

And keep posting here because I found that helpful too. You''ll get so much support from people who totally understand how you''re feeling. You take care of yourself LSx

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07 May 12 #328847 by it can only get better
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thanks for that, you are so right he has been planning this for months, found out he went to see a solicitor back in December and has had an affair which he lied about for a year, i can''t stop crying ( why)which is not good for my 7 year old, don''t want to be on my own but need to be to just lose it,

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07 May 12 #329046 by Crumpled
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Hi I am so sorry I am in the same boat so I know how you feel and it is truly horrible . It is so awful that someone we loved and trusted can treat us so badly .I am a bit further down the line than you and it does get better it is a slow process but you will come through this.
please remember you are not alone
lots of love

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