A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


mental health and depression

  • rockchick
  • rockchick's Avatar Posted by
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
More
07 May 12 #328966 by rockchick
Topic started by rockchick
divorce proceedings started a year ago i got divorced last august yes it was that quick ex has been nothing but a pain uncooperating with everything being continually difficult and basically acting like he has to rebel all the time today it was agreed on friday my 6 year old would spend the day today with his father, ex went out all weekend nothing was said to think any different, this morning 6 year old said to his father its your day today dad were going to football his reply was your mother can take you this went on for 10 minutes my 6 year old kept repeatedly saying that he wanted the day with him but he continued to be awkward and did nothing to reassure my son my eldest son who is 17 overheard this conversation and this seems to be the case generally with everything causing troubles being difficult always rebelling i am seriously thinking now this could be a mental illness and am getting concerned for my 6 year old welfare when he is with him, my ex does not speak to my 17 year old and only speaks to my daughter when he feels like it we are living in same house because house has not sold and i do not speak to him at all he shuts himself in the study all the time please help someone and what can i do about this i really think this is mental illness xx

  • johnt153
  • johnt153's Avatar
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
More
07 May 12 #328983 by johnt153
Reply from johnt153
Hi Rockchick,

Sorry to hear you''re having such a prolonged time of heartache. In answer to your question, though, there''s two parts: yes, it may be depression; if it is it''s his problem and all you can do is focus on you and your children. Is he giving any thought or consideration to you?

John.

  • rockchick
  • rockchick's Avatar Posted by
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
More
07 May 12 #329000 by rockchick
Reply from rockchick
No thought to me or the children!!!!seems like he wants to rebel to everything eg offer he proposed was not acceptable to rehouse me and kids but again has rebelled against this whereas i am only fighting for what is rightfully mine he forwarded houses that were rockbottom in areas i would not let children out this is what he thinks of his children very sad !!!!!! thanks for reply please if poss advise again i do not think hes behaviour is normal and considerate of anybody xx

  • sim5355
  • sim5355's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
07 May 12 #329002 by sim5355
Reply from sim5355
hi! i would look up narsisstic

  • Fiona
  • Fiona's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
07 May 12 #329018 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
I wish I had a £ for everyone who thinks their separated spouse may have a mental illness. ;)

We all have narcissistic traits and a degree of narcissism is healthy.

Sadly more often than not separating spouses can behave in strange ways because they are confused and/or try to gain control of the situation, particularly if that spouse didn''t instigate the end of the relationship.

Whatever the reason for the behaviour you cannot negotiate, mediate or appease someone who is being unreasonable. All you can do is establish physical and emotional boundaries (using a counsellor if necessary) and look to your own behaviour eg don''t react.

  • Shoegirl
  • Shoegirl's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
07 May 12 #329033 by Shoegirl
Reply from Shoegirl
What is being described is not healthy behaviour.

Only you can really assess what is going on in your own situation. Unreasonable behaviour is very different from emotional abuse. Mental illness can be connected or not to cases where you feel that you might be suffering emotional abuse.


It is not for anyone else to judge what you are describing. I''m just sorry you are having a difficult time and are in a horrible situation

Narsissism is a personality disorder and there is some debate whether is is connected to menatl illness at all.It can just be the way someone is. I think not reacting to the behaviour is important.

I don''t have any real words of wisdom as you need to develop a coping strategy for your particular set of circumstances. Other more experienced wikis will come along and help with this as many will have faced this kind of behaviour.

I just wanted to offer some support on dealing with someone who is abusive. I do understand how upsetting that is and how important support is for people who describe their experience of this abusive behaviour here.

  • rockchick
  • rockchick's Avatar Posted by
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
More
07 May 12 #329042 by rockchick
Reply from rockchick
thanks to everyone for their support. i do not react to this behaviour im surprised but i don''t, but am very concerned about my 6 year old being accompanied by his father he is very unpredictable and not sure if to raise this and to who for the wellbeing of my children i believe he is messing all their heads up one by one because of his strange ways and odd behaviour surely this needs to be sorted out. please help xx

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11