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feel like ending it all

  • juwelkeeper
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12 May 12 #330199 by juwelkeeper
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Never did i think that heartache could be so painfull. When someone you adore and love for over 20 years with 2 children . leaves out of the blue while your still asleep in your bed. The shock is still running through my body and i just cannot except it and the more i try to fight this the more i keep thinking of all the good times we had and were going to have. I have just collapsed to the floor at times and cry out louud like a baby and i am a full grown man of 48. emotions over comes me and i could so easly end my life there and then but the thought of my 2 wonderful children keep me from doing it but i get so close to it . How the hell do you break out of this hell i cant sleep i have lost a stone in 5 days i really am in a bad place. I just want here back but i know this wont happen and this just tears me apart and so the cycle starts again. I am so tired and struggling to think straight .
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  • Canuck425
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12 May 12 #330203 by Canuck425
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ok bud, I know you''re hurting. Believe me I get it. But you have to give your head a hard shake and pull it together. You have a couple kids depending on you. That''s real and important. Their mother just abandoned them. They will likely never really get over that. Now they need you to be ROCK solid. Fake it till you make it.

So take good care of yourself. Get support, lots of it. Get a therapist. See a doctor. It is very early days for you and you have lots of time to heal. It will take lots of time. The best way to take care of your kids is to focus on you first for a bit. They need to see that you''re going to be ok and you will be there for them.

Love, love, love your children. The last thing they need is you bailing on them - physically or emotionally. But you won''t do that! I can tell!
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  • robinson25
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12 May 12 #330205 by robinson25
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Please lean on family and friends to get thru this. I know what the utter devastation feels like and can fully understand how desperate you feel. But although it is little comfort to you at the moment you will become stronger and you will get past this horrible stage and honestly there is a life for you out there without your ex.

She seems very cowardly to just go off like that?

Please try and eat and sleep when you can manage it, it will make you more able to cope. keep blogging on here there is always someone to reply to your posts.
hang on in there. x
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  • leftwondering
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12 May 12 #330206 by leftwondering
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JK,

It happens. Happened to me after 30 years!

First thing is you are suffering shock, like being involved in a bad accident.
This is a medical condition.

You need to see your GP asap.

Suicide is not an option if you have kids.

Is there any family to help support you with your kids during this period?

What ages are they?

I know...it''s really, really sore man...you just want to curl up into a ball and die.
Been there myself.

LW
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12 May 12 #330207 by juwelkeeper
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i have but a front on for them and have given them pleny of hugs and love. Its when they are not there or in bed and i am alone that i go to pieces. I have seen the doc and he has given me some lorazepam to calm me down a bit. thanks for your kinds words.
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  • mingmong
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12 May 12 #330208 by mingmong
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Hi mate

Please please dont do anything daft!!
Your kids need a father,
I know you are hurting and it feels like your world has shattered.

Be strong for your kids mate think of them!

I look upon my kids 11,6 and my world seems a little better even without their Mum.

Time will heal my friend.
Take good care of you tho.

All the best

Nigel.
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  • juwelkeeper
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12 May 12 #330209 by juwelkeeper
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My children are 14 and 17 and i love them to bits. thank god i have them they do help me in this awful time in our lifes.
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