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a BACKWARD STEP?

  • Hacked Off
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13 May 12 #330366 by Hacked Off
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Two years on, divorce and finance over. Very short marriage. Ex wife left for another (richer) bloke. It didnt work out..she got bitter,took me to court and shafted me for money even though she contributed zilch during the short time she was with me. Her life went t*its up, whereas I got back on track. Felt really good this past year as I knew she had some regret and also things hadnt worked out with the new bloke and she''d been dumped by at least 2 others.
Strange though, last week I heard she is with someone I vaguely know. Nice guy, pots of cash, home in the south of France, boat etc. Apparently they are ''in love'' and she''s taking leave from work to spend 2 months with him in Dubai (he has business there). Couldnt help it, I felt sick about the whole thing. Just reinforces the feeling that I wasnt ''good enough''. When she left she told me I lacked ambition and wasnt outgoing enough, even though I have a good job and am a friendly sort of bloke albeit a bit on the quiet side. Completely p''d me off. I am what I am and she knew what I was like when she married me. Somehow I just hate the thought of all her ''jet setting'' and how she''s probably making comparisons of how I am and how this new guy is. I''m not going to spend to much time mullling this over in my head but it certainly is a set back. I felt much better when I knew she was having a hard time and was lonely. why is this? Any thoughts?

  • samchik1
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13 May 12 #330372 by samchik1
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Because when you knew she was having a hard time and was lonely you, on some level, validate the notion that "leaving you" was a dumb move. If leaving you was a dumb move and results in unhappiness then maybe you''re not so bad after all huh? Your self-esteem can handle that set of thoughts...even welcomes them in.

But when she''s living it up, WITH a guy who embodies all of the things she told you you were lacking, then leaving you was a good move, no? If leaving you was a good move and results in her achieving great happiness then maybe it''s possible to top you? If it''s possible to top you...then ARE you such a good catch? Your self-esteem doesn''t like that set of thoughts...they sit uncomfortably.

I know exactly how you feel though. What it actually shows you is that your feelings of self-worth are still bound to her in some way...the detachment process isn''t over yet I guess. The day you truly don''t give a sh*t it will be over.

  • hawaythelads
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14 May 12 #330388 by hawaythelads
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The reason you are pxssed off about it.
Is because she dumped you.
Underlying you know she is a right mercenary bxtch.Pretty heartless really uses relationships for what she can gain out of them.
In short in life there are givers and takers...she''s a taker.
Because they are takers they ain''t held back by any finer notions of emotions in life.They get up every day with one thought on their mind what do I want how do I get it(that''s actually two but because they are intrinsically entwined no one be pedantic).
With that in their head once you have had the misfortune of coming across their path and having been used and discarded.You can only look on in awe like a morbid fascination how single mindedly they pursue their next consumer unit.
You think well surely this bxtch is gonna come a cropper feck knows she deserves a fecking good slap by life with the trail of destruction she''s left in her path.
But FECK NO they plough on like a FECKING PANZER DIVISION facing a cheese eating surrender monkey.
Once again they fall on their feet,That''s not luck.She''s worked her rse off to get your rich mate in bed.
I know how you feel mate.If it''s any consolation I want to see the ex harridan broke in a guttter.I doubt it will happen not after I gave it £300k for fecking another bloke.But also it won''t happen because she''s got that cockroach mentality fecking nuclear bomb could go off and she still crawl out of it.:blink:
All the best
Pete xx

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