An Addiction

- To contact her. Every moment of every day. Just to have SOME scintilla of the woman I love(d - hopefully soon) back in my life. It''s like a physical compulsion. I''m resisting so far, apart from a recent blip, but I''m going ''cold turkey'' and it''s hard; harder than anything I''ve faced before. As everyone will know only so painfully well, to abruptly have no contact when you''ve communed with someone for so long, sharing deep and then intentionally light hearted, daft conversations, sharing yourself and listening to them because you love them, all the things that make up a couple, is like losing a limb.

I know that only time will heal, and that change is constant, and that if I manage to keep breathing every day I will, one day, come out the other side. But at the moment this is almost unbearable. She''s with her new man and I''m sat alone with a hole in my chest where my heart used to be and I know it sounds self-pitying but I don''t deserve this - I loved her and treat her well.

Just reaching out. John.

Hi John,

Sending you a big hug and positive vibes, I really do know how you feel, I was just like you, to the point that everything stood still and when I finally woke up, I had lost 5 years.

Please try to be strong, as much as it hurts not seeing her, it would torture you more seeing her. Even to this day, catching sight of my ex is enough to momentarily stop my heart.

Although you will not feel like it at the moment, see as many friends and family as possible, don''t cut yourself off. Exercise also helps, the more strenuous the better, it will stop you thinking/brooding and has the added benefit of a fitter looking you I would gallop along the grass lonnings and go hell for leather round cross country courses!!! it really did help.

Best wishes, you are doing better than you think x

i think we all no how you feel, the urge to phone or text gets overwhelming, 5 months on for me and that urge to contact him is no longer there, yes i do still get the thoughts of what are they up to etc, but he had an affair,and ran off to her why would i wont to contact him ? stay strong, youll get there, take care xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks, both. I can''t go a minute without thinking of her.

Had a text from her in the small hours telling me how happy she is with her new man and that she realizes now she never loved me. I''m shaking like a leaf.

Hi John I know this will be really hard but have you thought about blocking her number because the text from her is just cruel why does she need to tell you that rubbish........
stay strong

Hey John keep strong - jump into chat if you want to right now i am here!